Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Brand New Day

First off, I'd to put forth some notes I was writing down while watching American Gladiators last night and talking to a friend. (Read Scott's American Gladiators post if you haven't)
-My favorite line maybe ever "I think American Gladiators could be a great platform to spread Christianity" appeared last night. I do have to say its better than Crusade.
-Belinda Gavin, who competed last night, should use a different name because I knew she looked familiar. Back at the old house, the guys and I had turned on a soft core porn movie and were astonished at how unattractive one of the actresses were. This was indeed Belinda Gavin.
-While watching the first half of American Gladiators, I was on the phone and being informed that she couldn't imagine me married. Okay, I can't either and just because I do have nightmares of the notion doesn't mean it won't happen. Furthermore, she said she could see me running off with some European anarchist or some indie snob. Well I've got that this going for me.

Here is a recreation of a conversation I had with my mom yesterday.

Mom: Hey, how could they do that to Peter Parker!
Me: Well that's an introduction I didn't expect. Yeah, um, hey, and are you talking about the whole marriage disappearing act in the comics?
Mom: I was listening to Howard Stern and he was outraged about it and I am too. So he got on the phone the Marvel editor or something like that Joe Quesidilla-
Me: Quesada, yeah he sucks
Mom: He made Peter Parker's marriage go away with magic!?
Me: Yeah, it was a deal with the devil or whatever to save his sick Aunt May who's been sick since President Kennedy. I think it was caused by Beatle Mania
Mom: Chris, what are they the Catholic Church, they can't just annul a marriage with magic. It's stupid.
Me: I think a lot of people wish they could. But yeah, now he's an unmarried hipster because all hipsters are unmarried...don't worry they'll be back together in a year or two, it'll be this love conquers all and you'll have this scene where the devil just yells like Kahn or I'll get you Gadget! Only this time it'll be Parker! So don't worry.

I hope this offers incite into why I am the way I am. Onto the 10.

1. Nevada Democratic debate tonight! Oh wait no one will watch it because American Idol is on. I've been wondering if more people would watch the debate if there were strippers around? I've stayed away from too much Primary news as of late due to a lot of work here and that my rage gets the better of me. I'm tired of the thinly veiled racism of the Clinton Campaign. I'm not sure what to do about John Edwards. Part of me wants him to drop out because once he lost in Iowa he lost it all. Part of me is wondering why he receives no attention from the media outside of haircuts and Rudy Giuliani does even though Rudy has barely been able to strike up double digits in early primaries. It seems Fred Thompson and Rudy get a hell of a lot more than Edwards gets and he does grab a portion of the Democratic side that is the size of both of them on the Republican side. While Giuliani theoretically leads nationally, he can't keep losing severely in these early ones and still be the front runner even in a field of weakness as the GOP does have.

2. Today will determine Mitt Romney's ability to stay in the race. Michigan Primary. We, Democrats, are dying to take him on since he's as insincere as they come. This may come as a surprise from me, but his economic plans aren't nearly as idiotic as the rest of his GOP field. It seems the rest of them haven't a clue what they're talking about. At least McCain admits he doesn't know anything about economics.

3. That said, if my disdain for Rudy Giuliani isn't clear enough, he went to church with Katharine Harris recently. I didn't think I could dislike Giuliani more...and then bam! The refuge of scoundrels continues.

4. Bill O'Reilly has been crazier than ever. From attempting to confront Obama in a rather ridiculous way at a campaign rally to accusing NBC of supporting terrorism, O'Reilly seems to be going off the deep end. I would feel pity if he weren't a bastard...wait I don't feel pity at all.

5. Britney Spears has lost custody and any rights to the kids indefinitely. It would have helped her cause to show up to hearings.

7. Amy Winehouse is blonde now and still looks like a vampire.

8. TO fucking cried. Honest to God cried over Romo. I would have rooted for the Giants if I knew that would happen.

9. Bjork attacked a photographer and ripped his shirt off. I mean ripped. BJORK SMASH!!!!!

10. Go see There Will Be Blood. Its the modern silent film (its not really silent but you'll get what I'm aiming for). Daniel Day-Lewis is absolutely brilliant. I'm still thinking about the movie. Scott and I laughed at moments that we probably should not have...oh wait we definitely should have. Brother from another mother said in 1911 is still hilarious. Furthermore, "I'm finished," had me dying. With that , I'm finished.


Scott said...

I can never see you running off with an anarchist. You love government too much. Also, where was TO's loyalty to his fucking quarterback after the 2004 Superbowl? Huh!?!? Where was it then?!? You fucking asshole, I hope your legs fall off and you get beaten to death with them!!! I hate you! I hate you!!!!

Robert said...

The fact that "The Hebrew Hammer" was replaced by a Christian minister was the most unintentionally funny moment of the show. Also, the fact that black guy lost his lead during the swimming part of The Eliminator. The irony of stereotyping amused me.