Happy Birthday and Mourn the Disaster

Sixty years ago on this day, the British Mandate of Palestine ended and Israel gained its independence. So Happy Birthday Israel. I'll admit I'm a bit of an interesting case with Israel. I'm not Jewish, nor am I from Israel, nor am I an evangelical Christian who seems to think that Israel is needed for the return of Jesus due to an apocryphal text that people take too seriously and was actually written much after the Book of Revelation. I support Israel for a lot of reasons and its remarkable that the state has survived this long. Israel is a democracy that is the last refuge place for Jews in the world in case the worst happens again. It also needs to be the beacon of hope for those people who have no where else to go. Their free press is as remarkable as ours can be. They develop high tech advancements for the world. I admire their courts for challenging their executive branch when they need to but that doesn't mean I support their decisions all the time. For Palestinians, this day begins the Al-Naqba (Disaster). Its people's ability to view history, deny others' history, and create their own, that drives conflict. The settlements, dehumanization of people, and militarization in order to secure peace are all things I can't see helping. Two-state solution is the hope. Its funny that Ehud Olmert, once a right of the right wing of Israel, has become the hope for a two state solution. Its also ironic that he'll be brought down by a scandal that is the norm for the Bush Administration hacks. So wow 60 years and we'll probably be back to square one in a few months when crazy settlement hungry fools take over.

1. Mississippi 1! Holy crap, another goes Dem where honestly we shouldn't be winning. Congrats Travis Childers. He won big too. I would not want to be in RNC meetings today.

2. The new slogan for the Republican Party is "the change you deserve." Really? I mean Really? I don't get it. I mean, the change from the disaster you created? Over at other liberal leaning blogs, because we're all pill poppers and who need to solve their problems through medical wonders (okay not really...I mean I'm probably the only one at MBKUND that thinks pills are great and those liberal bloggers aren't pill poppers) anyway back on topic, at the other blogs, they've found that "the change you deserve" is the slogan of an anti depression med called Effexor XR aka Venaflaxine. Its supposed to help with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. The FDA has taken issue with Effexor not being able to substantiate its claims. I find this hilarious because this Effexor can't substantiate its claims nor can the Republican Party. I love it.
3. Next presidential cycle, I want to put up a lawn chair in West Virginia and just interview people on their voting choice. Yeah Hillary won West Virginia. But these people's responses were just amazing. Hearing about not voting for the "colored" candidate or not voting for the woman is just priceless.

4. Bill O'Reilly flipping out in some old Inside Edition clip made my week. Its been removed from youtube because god forbid, you find out that Bill O'Reilly is an ego maniac wackjob with weird sexual fantasies about producers whom he pays off and assumes he's innocent because he paid her off.

5. Racist? You bet it is.

6. So, yeah, I saw a preview for Woody Allen's new movie where Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz get it on...yup...you finish this on the list.

7. How does Britney Spears have a license? She hit another car again. Honestly, I don't understand this. She had her license taken away (GOOD) and they gave it back later (BAD).

No, I haven't watched How I Met Your Mother this week yet where she came back.

8. Drew Barrymore is a bad ass...okay not really but this is a bit crazy. Apparently, someone hit and run her car and she took off after him. I keep envisioning French Connection/Bourne Identity car chase. Now, is this a good idea to chase someone down after an accident? Probably not since that person might be crazy. Crazy meets crazy and boom Amy Winehouse!

9. Someone should monitor my blood pressure when HBO airs the movie Recount about Florida in 2000. Anyone sitting near me might suffer collateral damage when I throw stuff at TV and yell things that'll ensure my place in hell.

10. PLAYLIST!

1. Our House (Cover) by Jacaranda. Look for the Top Gun reference in the song.
2. Living Well is the Best Revenge by REM. Its off the new album Accelerate that's pretty good.
3. Ready to Go by Republica. I just watched the music video recently and though I get a headache watching it but I forgot I liked this song.
4. Seed 2.0 by the Roots. Yeah, I know but Olker keeps bring up the Roots.
5. Kill the Director by the Wombats. The line of "this is no Bridget Jones" is a hilarious line.
6. Switches by Drama Queen. Its good, trust me.
7. Ca Plane Por Moi by Plastic Bertrand. French rock at its best. Its actually from Belgium but its all the same...
8. New Transmission by the Lostprophets.
9. Such Great Heights (Cover) by Iron and Wine. They turned a poppy fast song into something sweet and melancholy.
10. You Can't Break a Heart and Have It by Frank Black. See it in Forgetting Sarah Marshall for a second.
11. Too Much, Too Young, Too Fast by Airbourne. Yeah it annoys me how much they rip off AC/DC. I mean seriously, no originality. That said, the song is really catchy.

Finally, go watch Doctor Who. Netflix the first season and you'll enjoy it. Its not the same doctor as it is now but its great. The Doctor is pretty much the character I'd love to be most.

Frank Sinatra died 10 years ago on this day. Swing on a star for him.

The New Transmission

Well I'm back. It took awhile. I suffered through final papers, crazy primaries (that are still going), my quarterlife crisis began last week when I turned 25 on the greatest day of the year, and I'm still livin the dream....Anyway, you may be wondering what exactly got me to this point? Actually, it was an email that Domino's Pizza sent me...Recession buster deal is the title of the email...I mean seriously, Domino's is giving economic analysis with their pizza deals and the scary part is their probably more right than most of the Republicans in power. I was just baffled and kinda just stared at the email with sardonic amusement. I felt the need to spew out my random thoughts on the world and what I've been up to for the past month.
My family invaded DC and we ate the new restaurant attached to the Newseum. It was fantastic though a bit expensive. My table was right next to Rob Lowe's which I thought was hilarious considering my 80s binge going on right now. My brother and I debated on if we were to interrupt his dinner with something. I pushed for either a St. Elmo's Fire joke or a Wayne's World joke like to recommend the creme of some young guy. My brother wanted to go all out Wayne's World and ask about Tia Carrere.
If you don't know, I'm exceedingly proud of Barack Obama. Rock on and let's go. I've got two national ads up hitting John McCain on the economy and his 100 year comment. You can view them at here and here. And with that, onto the list.

1. I'll start with this. I don't hate Hillary Clinton. I actually like her. I think she's smart, tough, and would be worthy of being President if not for Barack Obama. I actually feel sorry for her. Watching her speak after Indiana and North Carolina was a tough thing to do. I don't think she should drop out now. I'd rather it happened after Kentucky since she has a commanding but futile lead there. That said, if she forces through the Florida and Michigan delegates as they stand via changing the rules, I will not vote for her if she somehow became the candidate. I also will be very pissed if she doesn't campaign hard for Obama and allows for McCain to win so she can run in four years again. I will campaign to the ends of the Earth to halt that. Read this, its a great understanding of where we (DemocratIC Party) stand.

2. I'm going to be something of a bipartisan on this thing. Myanmar "government" FUCK YOU. How could you? They began seizing the goods the UN brought in. There's this part of me that wants to give their junta an ass kicking. I know its not a good idea but my god, an official has said that it could be 100,000 people may be dead from the cyclone. So as I said HOW COULD YOU!?

3. On that note, I was watching the First Lady on TV as she was supposed to talk about that whole public diplomacy aspect of deploying aid and what she was going to do and such. Y'know First Lady stuff. Y'know what she talked about instead? Her daughter's wedding....I can't wait till they're out of the White House. It really represents a lot of what the Bush Administration has been. Everything is about them and nothing else.

4. In case you thought the world was getting better, Hezbollah has seized western parts of Beirut in Lebanon. The civil war that really has existed in Lebanon for most of the 20th century in some way and into the 21st century is something that either Barack Obama and John McCain will have to handle. Israel will need to confront this sadly again. Every decade it seems Israel has had to attempt to stabilize Lebanon through armed force and end up making it worse.

5. Speaking of Israel, most of you know that I have a lot of interest in the region, Prime Minister Ehud Olmert is/was a positive force for peace. I mean, he really did want to work for it with Abu Mazin (Mahmoud Abbas) of the Palestinians. It looks like we're entering into the post Olmert era. He's being investigated for bribery and corruption charges and it looks like that's the last straw for left, center, and right in their political spectrum. The funny thing is that the next election will have all failed former PMs running...can you imagine if former Presidents decided to run again in the US? Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, George HW Bush, and even George W. Bush all running on different parties?

6. PS. Barack Obama does not = Hamas douchebags. John McCain's statement is horrific and pathetic.

7. I wonder if the right wing will pick on Cindy McCain for not releasing her tax records like they did Teresa Kerry. For the record, I was against the hesitance to release Teresa Kerry's tax records. But isn't John McCain the maverick who is about open government? I'm also wondering which of his 8 houses I like the most but aren't on his tax records. That private jet is pretty sweet too.

8. Onto more important news, a moment of silence, Scarlett Johansson is engaged to Ryan Reynolds. Good for him. Sadness for everyone else. I'm still a Natalie Portman guy if I had to choose.

9. I saw Iron Man for my birthday. What the hell are you doing if you're reading this and haven't seen it? I loved it. A great comic book movie.

10. Band that I think you should be listening to and you're probably not. The Wombats. Kill the Director is really enjoyable as is Moving to New York.

11. Amy Winehouse got arrested again...yeah I'm almost bored with her now.

12. How did Britney Spears get more visitation rights for her kids? I mean so she's got a guest spot on How I Met Your Mother and looks less crazy. Don't care, she still hasn't quite gotten past the "hey I lost my kids to an out of work back up dancer who is king of the douches."

13. Erin Andrews shares my birthday I learned recently. Once again, my day is the greatest day of the year. ESPN even talked about it. If you don't know who Erin Andrews is....google image. She may be perfect. Hot and can talk about sports. Now if she can make nonsensical pop culture references...well god damn.

14. So someone asked me recently, "would you like a girl more if she were a Cub fan?" I said it helps.

15. I hate Cedric Benson.

16. One of my room mates looks like he could be in the movie American History X.

17. I have a video camera now...beware.

By bullets or by drugs?

Okay, so its been a while since I've been on here. I haven't really had much to say and I generally like to write with a point. That being said, I come to you with a new contest! This one however will not be in the form of a poll, but rather in the comments section. We here at Mr. Brooks Knocked Up Nancy Drew are starting a Celebrity Death Pool!

The rules are simple. We have three categories of people. Music celebs, TV and movie celebs, and professional sports celebs. Through the dedicated work of our crack team of Fun-gineers (ie. Chris) we have come up with 5 names in each category. You pick a name from each category, and that is your first person to die in that category. Then, you pick one person from among your category winners. That person is your choice to be the first of the fifteen to die. Now, some of you may have others on your mind that you think are going to kick it first, and thats okay. You may pick someone not on the list, but they have to die from self-destructive behavior. For instance, you could not have picked Charleton Heston because he was old. You also can't pick someone with cancer or anything like that. They have to die because they are a total fuck-up. Additionally, your person must fit into one of the three categories. I'm banning Paris Hilton because she doesn't have a career, she just pretends she does. I haven't decided what you'll win yet, but I am totally willing to put money on this. Make your selections in the comment section. Now, on to your lovely contestants!

Music:
Pete Doherty: I think one of my department's interns put it best. Every picture you see of Pete Doherty is at some weird time and he's on coke or crack or smack or some other concoction that really doesn't belong in your body. Its only a matter of time before he OD's or gets involved in a drug dispute.

Blake Fielder-Civil: Ah yes, the husband of Amy Winehouse, who is currently in jail. You would think that being in jail would make him less likely to be on this list, but you would be wrong! If I remember correctly, he was put on suicide watch because he tried to hang himself, and he's still getting tons of drugs. Does he make it through his prison term?

Amy Winehouse: Because the couple that fucks up its life together, is the couple that dies together. Seriously, how many pictures of this chick have you seen where she looks like she's on crazy pills? About a billion? Lets go with about a billion. Hell, they wouldn't even let her in the United States to attend the Grammy's because she's so drugged out of her mind. And we love drugs here in the US! How is that possible? I'm personally saying within 6 months.

Britney Spears: Now, I know it seems like she's gotten her life together, but how long can she keep that going? How long before she has a relapse? How long before she accidentally eats one of her own children? This little tale will either end in a police stand-off or a murder-suicide pact. Either way, its going to be all over the news.

Keith Richards: The man has defied the odds for who knows how many decades but how long can he keep doing it? I mean, for God's sake, he looks like Skelator! Even he knows he's living on borrowed time. So when do the decades of drug use finally catch up with our wily veteran?

I'll admit, I was half tempted to put Tupac on this list. We all know he's not really dead. He's just hiding and biding his time.

TV/Film:
Lindsay Lohan: Firecrotch is burning through men at about the same speed she's burning through bottles of Everclear and DUI's. I'm guessing that the way she goes is she drunkenly takes a header off of someone's beach house into a as-yet-unfillled pool. That way we get one last bikini spread of the former Mean Girl.

Robert Downey Jr.: Once again, we got someone who has, by all appearances, turned his life around. But once he's between projects, or just a little bored, how long before he starts hitting the sauce or other, more illicit, substances and slams his car into a building. Personally, I'm rooting against this one because I want there to be an Ironman 2. Nobody ever said that my reasons had to be altruistic or value human life or blah blah blah.

Mischa Barton: She had one good role ever and then got herself kicked off the show because she was a bitch and a problem to deal with. I'm guessing that she gets strangled by someone who's defense will be "the bitch deserved it." At which point the judge will shrug his shoulders, agree, and everyone goes home. And another forgettable TV starlet fades away.

Owen Wilson: He's severely depressed and tried to kill himself. Plus, have you seen his nose? That right there is something to be depressed about. Also, he keeps having roles in Wes Anderson films and that has just got to fuck with your mind.

Heather Locklear: Yeah, I'll bet you didn't see this one coming, did you? Apparently, last year, she attempted to commit suicide and her therapist had to call the police last year to stop her. It never really got any play in the media because they covered it up. Its hard to age gracefully for some people. But if I were a betting man (and I am), I would say that a stalker from her Melrose Place days finally gets close enough.

Pro Sports:
This is actually my favorite category. In the previous two categories its been a question of who is going to kill themselves with drugs and alcohol. In this category its a question of who forces the police to kill them with bullets. Hey, every good contest needs a splash of violence, right?

Adam "Pacman" Jones: This guy is one of your world-class fuck-ups. He was banned from the NFL for a year because he committed so many crimes. And lets not forget that he decided to "make it rain" in a strip club, which then resulted in a gun battle taking place. He's a ticking timebomb that is likely to get killed outside a strip club at 3am.

Chris Henry: This particular gem has been arrested 5 times since he entered the NFL in 2005. Almost all of those arrests have been for violent crimes such as assault and drawing a gun on a college student. He was just recently arrested again for assault and during his bail hearing the judge called him a "one man crime wave." As a result, the Cincinatti Bengals cut him from the team. Violent tendencies plus nothing to do? I smell chalk outlines.

Jose Conceco: How about Jose? He's the single most hated man in all of baseball right now. Not only that, but there are rumors that he's made some rather bad business deals with gentleman who may or may not hail from Sicily. I'm just saying. The rules for Conseco might have to be a bit different. If he randomly disappears and stays disappeared for about 3-5 months, I'm willing to say he's been fitted for a pair of cement shoes and dropped off a pier.

Allen Iverson: Not only is he a gangsta' rapper, but he's also got a somewhat violent past from his time in Philadelphia. He's another poster boy for his past catching up to him. While he has kept his nose clean recently, it is hard to give up a lifetime of bad associations and bad decisions. Plus he's being sued for a 2005 brawl. Brawls never go away.

Ron Artest: Malice in the Palace! Ron Artest is probably the craziest motherfucker in the NBA. He's probably going to get shanked sooner rather than later. He's unpredictable, he's tempermental, and he probably doesn't back down. I predict death by stabbing, actually.

So there you have it folks. Those are our 15 contestants. Make your choices known in the comments section and watch your newspaper.

Make Gentle the Life of this World

Ladies and Gentlemen - I'm only going to talk to you just for a minute or so this evening. Because...

I have some very sad news for all of you, and I think sad news for all of our fellow citizens, and people who love peace all over the world, and that is that Martin Luther King was shot and was killed tonight in Memphis, Tennessee.

Martin Luther King dedicated his life to love and to justice between fellow human beings. He died in the cause of that effort. In this difficult day, in this difficult time for the United States, it's perhaps well to ask what kind of a nation we are and what direction we want to move in.

For those of you who are black - considering the evidence evidently is that there were white people who were responsible - you can be filled with bitterness, and with hatred, and a desire for revenge.

We can move in that direction as a country, in greater polarization - black people amongst blacks, and white amongst whites, filled with hatred toward one another. Or we can make an effort, as Martin Luther King did, to understand and to comprehend, and replace that violence, that stain of bloodshed that has spread across our land, with an effort to understand, compassion and love.

For those of you who are black and are tempted to be filled with hatred and mistrust of the injustice of such an act, against all white people, I would only say that I can also feel in my own heart the same kind of feeling. I had a member of my family killed, but he was killed by a white man.

But we have to make an effort in the United States, we have to make an effort to understand, to get beyond these rather difficult times.

My favorite poet was Aeschylus. He once wrote: "Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God."

What we need in the United States is not division; what we need in the United States is not hatred; what we need in the United States is not violence and lawlessness, but is love and wisdom, and compassion toward one another, and a feeling of justice toward those who still suffer within our country, whether they be white or whether they be black.

(Interrupted by applause)

So I ask you tonight to return home, to say a prayer for the family of Martin Luther King, yeah that's true, but more importantly to say a prayer for our own country, which all of us love - a prayer for understanding and that compassion of which I spoke. We can do well in this country. We will have difficult times. We've had difficult times in the past. And we will have difficult times in the future. It is not the end of violence; it is not the end of lawlessness; and it's not the end of disorder.

But the vast majority of white people and the vast majority of black people in this country want to live together, want to improve the quality of our life, and want justice for all human beings that abide in our land.

(Interrupted by applause)

Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago: to tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world.

Let us dedicate ourselves to that, and say a prayer for our country and for our people. Thank you very much. (Applause)

Robert F. Kennedy - April 4, 1968

John McCain voted against MLK Day in 1983 so you know

and

Happy Birthday Olker.

The gods are too fond of a joke

Last night was amazing TV. This is not April Fool's. Let's start with Greek. I love this show mainly because its great for a large audience. The major storyline of this episode of Greek is the Great Gatsby Party where the Dean is there. I love the retro story of the Prohibition era attempting to dodge authority due to having alcohol. The lead characters are holding two parties one which is dry and just a front and the downstairs which is a speak easy. All of them are in costume and I thought it was just hilarious that this storyline can be used on college campuses now. Now for the best moment...its legendary! Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off is the dean! I leaped out of my seat as Ashleigh has a conversation with Cameron (I don't care about the actor's name nor his name on the show) about how Ferris Bueller is the the Great Gatsby of our generation! I got so excited about this it was sickening. I sickened myself! I know, it should happen more often but doesn't.
Now for the second great moment of TV last night, How I Met Your Mother is the funniest show on TV when the Office isn't around and at times it does give it a run for its money. Last night was a great episode but what made it amazing was at the end of the episode NPH (Neil Patrick Harris to the uninformed) did a Doogie Howser computer segment ending with "what I learned about myself is....I'm awesome." I seriously was cheering as I watched the dvred episode.

1. Now I'm kinda pissed, I caught part of the Daily Show last night. Jon Stewart is money but he had a great segment how success in the Iraq is when violence is rising and when its falling according to the White House apparently. Its kinda funny when you see the clip. But it made me angry because the White House is still full of shit. I honestly am horrified that there are people who think things will be different if they voted for McCain. He's exactly the same. Around 30 % approve of the President and around 42 % are supporting McCain. So 30% are complete morons and 12% are in denial morons.

2. I saw a puppet show where a Hamas puppet video where a Palestinian boy blames Israel and the US for the death of his family and then proceeds to stab the President Bush puppet with the sword of Islam. It is noted that the President repents and agrees to convert to Islam. The boy after stabbing the President then claims the goal is to make the White House a mosque. This is why we aren't winning in the world. We have no communication with the Muslim world of any meaningful value outside of blowing up Iraq, torturing Muslims, continued support of ineffectual Palestinian/Israeli policies, and a remarkable amount of bad policies.

3. Baseball is back! I love the sport. So when President Bush threw out the first pitch at the Nats opener for their new stadium, I'm actually okay with it. However, I did love that President Bush aka Bubble President had to feel what a nonvetted worshiping crowd was like. I don't think I've seen someone booed that heavily by that many people in some time. What does that say about the status of President Bush? To think there are people who will support Senator McCain who is Bush III.

4. So Tammy Baldwin is the only gay woman in Congress. Congress allows for members to take along spouses to fact finding missions....so...you see the problem when Tammy Baldwin is going to take her partner on a mission and then the military blocks it... absolutely ridiculous. Nancy Pelosi intervened with Secretary Gates to fix it. Even Republicans were okay with Baldwin bringing in her spouse. Not sure if this is a "Don't ask don't tell" Pentagon problem or from another segment of the Executive Branch. I've heard both.

5. Mike Myers has a new movie coming out this summer called the "Love Guru." Apparently, he didn't get the memo that people are very tired of the Borat impressions. This movie is about an Indian love guru. Second best in India...yeah Mike Myers needs to do Wayne's World again...okay maybe he's a bit old...So I Married an Axe Murder 2?

6. What the hell happened to Lara Flynn Boyle's face? She was on Law and Order a few weeks ago and I remember just not being able to look at the screen when she was on and she was supposed to be a sexy, scheming reporter.


This is a comparison photo. Now and 2001
She was cute when she was on the Practice though if you opened a window, she'll float away.

7. REM has a new album out and apparently its amazing. I've got it back home so I'll listen to it then but good for them. As part of my I'm stuck in another era bit, REM and U2 are bands I love and REM has fallen off for a bit. Also the Raconteurs have a new album out that I really like. I'm going to see them with my brother aka Feebleman at the end of May.

8. Barack Obama is a terrible bowler. I feel I need a few drinks in me and I'm decent. I think I have an in for the campaign. I wonder if Hillary Clinton can bowl? I'm pretty sure McCain can't physically.

9. Battlestar Galactica is back this week! Best show on TV. Seriously, not even close to joking. Go buy the DVDs and reward yourself for having some taste.

10. I want to see Leatherheads still this week. Anyone want in?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WINSTON! Winston, the Basset Hound turned 10 today!

Love your madness, please go on.

So its been a bit. I've had a ton of work. So its Friday and no I'm not in love...Anyway, this week saw the return of one of my favorite shows of the new shows of last year came back. Greek. Yes, I do really enjoy the show as do many of my friends. I was in the Greek system at AU. Apparently, I'm always supposed to be a Greek. Well, that I'm not too sure of that but many of my friends are from my time in Greek life. I don't think of them as Greeks and I don't really see as many brothers anymore. Anyway, Greek is back and enjoyable. Yes, Spencer Grammer and Dilshad Vadsaria are eye candy on an extraordinary level. Dibs for those wondering. The show really is a lot of fun for those who really liked Superbad. I feel many of my friends would make good Kappa Taus which I find funny. Go watch. The DVD season 1 is really cheap.

1. So how about that unending primary season? Should we start calling it a secondary after Super Tuesday happened? How about tertiary for this point? I really want it to end soon. There really isn't a chance that Hillary can statistically enter the convention leading. She's hoping that Obama has a dead hooker in his brief case I guess. I've been making Bosnia sniper jokes all week about Hillary's wacky memory. I really do think there should be a skit of Hillary talking about how she saved LA from a nuclear weapon and someone says, Senator Clinton that was season 1 of 24 not you. Then she starts talking that she made a mistake and then proceeds to describe season 3 of 24. Maybe she retells Die Hard.

2. Have you noticed we label our candidates by ethnicity, skin color, gender, and sanity (Mike Gravel, Dennis Kucinich, 85% of the Republican field) but not age? Seriously, McCain is 72 years old. He gave a speech talking about that he was five when he heard about Pearl Harbor happening. I mean, really? I mean, even Reagan wasn't as old as McCain is when he became president. Americans are voting for a VP if they vote for McCain.

3. John McCain and Hillary Clinton aren't that great on the economy. McCain is border line stupid actually using vague notions and laughing to himself that he doesn't know anything about the economy so there's that. Hillary Clinton wants to put together a group headed by Alan Greenspan to fix the economy. Umm...Yeah...Alan Greenspan is part of the problem. Some call him the architect of the current situation. Not a good idea. This isn't the 90s. I love the 90s but don't think you can push the reset button. Until we have a flux capacitor, we're not going back to the 90s...though that'd be awesome.

4. FAUX Suffering! Some think I enjoy Faux feeling antiquated. That should be everyone. Maybe they need to become a real news station instead of an ad in the Starship Troopers movie. Faux is tabloid journalism at its worst because I know the tabloids at least know what they are. Faux is just a monster. Yeah I said it. Monster! AHHHH! Real Monsters! Okay I'll stop.

5. I finally watched How I Met Your Mother that had Britney Spears. I actually thought it was really good. Reviewers are liking it too but I actually attribute it to people finally watching the show because it is the most funny show on TV next to the Office but it rivals that at times. Britney Spears played this clingy crazy...holy god that wasn't acting. Watch for the Ted gets a mustache part. I nearly died mainly because I've had ideas on that.

6. Here is yet another example on why Jon Stewart is better than all of us. He's been quietly visiting wounded veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan War. Bill O'Reilly tells the whole world about his support. Most of these loud mouthed pundits like to do that with all the chutzpah they can muster. Jon Stewart does it on his own and doesn't need to.

7. The Bear Stearns CEO dumped his stock and got 61.3 million from it. John Edwards liked talking about two Americas. Tell me that isn't two Americas. Bear Stearn survives the Great Depression, World War 2, the Cold War, and is brought down during the Bush Economy of Piss on you Economics. The Bear Stearn stock became worthless ruining so many people's lives and yet the CEO walks away with 61.3 million. Fuck you, James Cayne, CEO Chairman. Go join the Enron execs that are with Cassius in hell.

8. Oh, I want to know how the "Surge" aka escalation is working? There is no such term as a surge in warfare assholes. Anyway, there's a "surge" of violence now in Iraq. So no political development, no infrastructure forming, and now the military situation looks bad. Thanks.

9. Best Buy opened in my neighborhood! Seriously, I'm ecstatic. Now there's a Target, Best Buy, and there will be a Potbelly's soon. I'm going to be broke but happy with it.

10. The Tudors is back this weekend. The show had remarkably hot women of course but that isn't why I liked the show. I really enjoy the show because it does capture some of the characters really well. I thought Sam Neil's Wolsey was utterly intriguing and I sympathized with someone who has been considered a villain in the narrative. In fact, I actually agreed with him. I also related with the other villain Charles V who we don't see very often but is most fearsome figure of the age. He's one of my favorite people in history though he did sack Rome and was just an amazing figure. The show has violence, sex, interesting concepts, and it portrays an era that is alien yet not to us.

11. I'm going to confess that I watched about three episodes of the L Word recently. It is a terrible show. I mean, I thought hey lesbians, I'll watch. Its edgy and sorts. God its awful. People whine throughout the show about fake problems. Its like they've been playing off the edgy oohhh...the L word, you think its lesbian but its actually love but we'll keep it about lesbians in love. I hated it. It takes a lot for me to hate attractive girls in a series especially if they're hooking up and all. What is up with Jennifer Beals too? She obviously uses a body double for much of it and she really is a bad actress. The Shane character was probably the most entertaining. Katharine Moennig is the actress. All she does is hook up and mock people which seems alright by me.

12. Upcoming movies I want to see. Part of me wants to see 21 for some reason. I need someone to suggest it before I do it though. I do want to see Leatherheads mainly because it reminds me of old movies.

13. Downloads? Go download Shiny Toy Guns' Rainy Monday. I liked it.

14. Riddle me this. Coincidence that the Australian PM is here? Probably

4,000

a collage of the 4,000 dead Americans in Iraq someone made. You're going to need a bigger collage for the civilians.

Celebrity News

I have a bit of a pet peeve. I can't stand people who are obsessed with celebrity gossip. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind people who know what celebrities are up to, in fact I encourage people to have an idea what is going on in pop culture. What I can't stand is people with an obsession.

There is a girl I work with who we will call K.T. for the purpose of the story so that nobody knows here real name (it's Katie). Recently, while I was trying to eat my biscuit bowl from KFC, I had to spend the entire thirty minutes I had for lunch listening to her talk about the celebrity news in her magazine (people, star, tiger beat, something along those lines). I don't understand how you can not only spend your entire lunch break wanting to know why Britney can't get her kids back, but also assuming everyone (or anyone) else in the employee lounge cares. It did lead to this conversation between K.T. and me:

K.T.: Look at this picture of Good Charlotte.
Me: Good Charlotte sucks
K.T.: Hey, I went to high school with those guys.
Me: Then you should know they suck.

I also have an issue with the "celebrities, they're just like us" section. Recently, there was a photo of some B-list celebrity front row at a Lakers game with the subtitle, "they cheer on their favorite team." I want you to raise your hand if you have ever sat on the front row for a professional basketball game. Noone? That's what I thought. I don't care if they are walking their dog to the grocery store in their sweats like I do. Their dog probably cost them a thousand dollars because it's some purebred posh dog. Mine was free. they are probably walking to some highend grocery store that makes Wholefoods look like it's for poor people. I'm going to Giant. Their sweats are probably Juicy Couture. I stole mine from my roomate. Celebrities are not like us. If they were like us why would anyone care?

On to other things.

1. As many of you may know, Heather Mills did not get nearly as much money as she wanted from Sir Paul McCartney (50 million instead of the 250 million she asked for). I guess the judge felt that in court she didn't have a leg to stand on.

2. For those of you who follow cycling (editors note: Do we have European readers of this blog?) there are two American teams that qualified for the Tour De France. While this news is exciting by itself, the best news is that it brought us this. http://velonews.com/photo/73486 (picture courtesy of our friend Greg)

3. For those of you with the sense of humor of a child (probably a higher chance of that than of us having cycling fans reading this) you'll appreciate the fact that we have a friend named Guy Seemann. While he is in Israel, he had a blog. I assume it will talk about real life issues such as how difficult it is to find a good pulled pork barbeque sandwich in Tel Aviv. http://guyseemann.blogspot.com/

Hard Sun

President Bush is the luckiest guy. I swear the economy looks terrible with Bear Stearns going down, but y'know what's great? Its March Madness. No one pays attention to news. We just mourned another anniversary of the Iraq War...and how many American deaths are there? 3,988. But what really matters is that Arizona State not making the Big Tournament will be watched more than the news. On a lighter note, AU is a Big Tournament team! Irony huh? I love my hypocrisy. First time ever!

On a separate note, I think I'm in the mood for 80s movies when I get back from Chicago next week after Easter. Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, St. Elmo's Fire, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and maybe more.

I also on a semi similar note really want to watch Parker Lewis Can't Lose for some reason. But that's from the 90s.

Downloads of the week.
-Hard Sun by Eddie Vedder on the Into the Wild soundtrack
-I downloaded the entire discography of Flogging Molly
-Bittersweet Symphony cover/remix by Supraliminal

1. Vice President Cheney, Senators John McCain, Lindsay Graham, and Joementum Lieberman are on a campaign I mean investigative trip to Iraq. I'm glad I helped pay for John McCain to campaign...oh wait. I wonder if Dick Cheney is more popular in Iraq than here?

2. NEWSFLASH! Bill Kristol is a douchebag! Oh wait we already knew that. Here's a blatant image of why Bill Kristol isn't a journalist. This him talking about Obama and his less than politically correct pastor.

"But Ronald Kessler, a journalist who has written about Wright’s ministry, claims that Obama was in fact in the pews at Trinity last July 22. That’s when Wright blamed the “arrogance” of the “United States of White America” for much of the world’s suffering, especially the oppression of blacks. In any case, given the apparent frequency of such statements in Wright’s preaching and their centrality to his worldview, the pretense that over all these years Obama had no idea that Wright was saying such things is hard to sustain."

Ah a hit piece...unfortunately, Obama was not there. He was heading to Florida. I heard of this place called google that you can learn this information in seconds. If you're going to do a hit piece, look up your crucial aspects....oh wait Republicans don't do that anymore (ever?) Furthermore, if we're going to judge Obama on people associated with him even tangentially, let's do it to Clinton and McCain. I think the results really do make Wright insignificant compared to the guys hanging around McCain a lot. Clinton too has this problem.

3. Anyone remember Governor McGreevey? Yeah, news on the former governor has popped up again. Damn you Spitzer for thinking you can one up the Greevey! Apparently, McGreevey's lead guy put a new spin on middle man. The former assistant to the governor says that he was involved in several threesomes with the governor and his wife and that there was no way that his wife wouldn't have thought he was gay. Well then...that's...something. Maybe someone hasn't explained what gay means to Dina McGreevey? I mean she probably read the Great Gatsby and is now confused.

4. Heather Mills is getting 48.6 million. Well that's a lot more than the 1.37 drachmas I thought she should get. Paul made out pretty good honestly, I mean she wanted something like 200 million.

5. So I thought this morning that ABBA had street cred and had gone gangster when I heard their drummer had been stabbed in the throat and killed in the Spanish Island of Mallorca. It turns out it was an accidental death.

6. Halle Berry gave birth to a baby girl. Olker has started the countdown to when she's legal...no he hasn't but you could believe this right? Anyway, it would be a tragedy if her daughter wasn't hot when she was ready to be the next 18-25 Hollywood obsession. Though you don't have to be attractive at all to get Hollywood attraction and be the kid of a famous actor. I mean look at Bruce Willis' daughter. I'm not going to post pics because it hurts my eyes.

7. I have never really been into Courtney Cox. But her character on the show Dirt is awesome. I haven't really liked this season but I still think she cracks me up and it is a bit hot how much of a bitch she is. I totally admire her.

8. Well I need 15 seconds back of my life..stat. Like I saw Madonna's new cover of her album and now I'm trying to gouge out my eyes. Not fair, people should warn ahead of time before they go hey chris, take a look. I mean I can handle violence, gore, sexual things, but Madonna? Nope. Now I'm hating the world more than usual. She's still not rock and I'm not posting pics because I look out for the people of Mrbrooksknockedupnancydrewistan.

9. I'd like to point out that though I fall under the Natalie Portman favoritism over Scarlett Johanssen, for 40,100 dollars I'd say it might be worth it to get a date with her. Scott says she'll put out. I mean Eliot Spitzer spent more than that for all his trysts but I feel everyone would forgive him if he just had spent 40,100 on Scarlett only and gotten something out of it. Even his wife would go "wow, really? I guess its alright."

10. So I watched a favorite movie of mine last week. Independence Day. Yeah I know. I enjoyed the hell out of it like I did TWELVE YEARS AGO. Holy god, I'm feeling my 15th midlife crisis when I say that. Anyway, I love that movie. the effects are a bit dated but its so enjoyable. Also Jane from Firefly is in it. I listened to that very bad speech at the end and enjoyed that too. I mean, I've heard worse...okay maybe not. But its fun. I read on Wikipedia that a reviewer thought that the July 4th independence day for the world was the most arrogant thing declared in an American movie ever or something to that accord. I think we've easily topped that easily since then. I actually really enjoy that someone is pissed off about ID4. Another thing I noticed is that though I haven't been to New York since I was like 8 I'm pretty sure the Empire State Building isn't the location where it is in the movie. I'm also not sure how the main alien weapon really works. Like is it supposed to choose a tall building and blow it up and the wave carries like that? Or does it not need a tall building? If it does need a tall building, shouldn't it been at the World Trade Center then? Would this become a more watched movie again if it had been?

11. Just a side note, I probably have mentioned this before or if I haven't cool. I have this concept of a Wikiodyssey. Its when you start on a topic at Wikipedia and see how far you can go choosing topics only on the pages you come across. Like my wikiodyssey started with the Golda Meir and ended up at Giovanni Boccaccio's Decameron? Golda Meir-Munich-Guy who played Caesar on the show Rome-Rome-Julius Caesar-Shakespeare-Cymbeline-Decameron. Try it when you're bored at work. I could have continued for hours after the Decameron but I stopped to post.

I'll have the Stegosaurus, medium-rare

Do you guys remember that scene from the Flintstones intro when Fred ordered a rack of Brontosaurus ribs from a fast food place and it tipped the car over because it was so big? I’m assuming it was Brontosaurus. It could have been a Diplodocus for all I know. Anyways, aren’t you curious what that might taste like? Or, perhaps maybe you want something a little more contemporary, a little more modern. How about a Rhinoceros? I can hear the cries now. But Scott, those are either extinct or almost extinct! Eating those animals would be some combination of impossible and highly unethical and illegal!

Au con trair mon frair. (Note: I don’t know French and may have butchered the spelling of their surrender language. I don’t care.)

Apparently scientists are getting close to cloning individual muscle groups in animals. You know, lungs, kidneys, hearts, tenderloins. The idea is that instead of raising a cow for slaughter you could instead clone that NY Strip steak and just sell that. A lot of people are uncomfortable with this idea because of the fears of genetically engineered meat, the ethics/slippery slope of cloning, and so on and so forth. Me? I’m enthusiastic about this and want to throw these pioneers of gastric awesomeness as much money as they need to make this a reality. Why?

Haven’t you ever wondered what some of these endangered animals taste like? What might a Giraffe-kabob taste like? How about Rhino Stew with root vegetables. This is to say nothing of the cured versions of these meats. Endangered hot dogs anyone? We could even perhaps modify the Turducken into a completely new homunculus for consumption. And that’s only the animals that still exist.

If Jurassic Park has taught me anything, and it has, it’s that dinosaurs can be cloned. And why not? Right, the horrible amounts of destruction that they wreak across jungle and city environments. There's always that. But thats why we only clone specific muscle groups! Though, we may have to clone a whole dinosaur, raise it, then slaughter it so that we can determine what the most delicious bits are. This may take a couple of generations of trial and error, but thats a temporal sacrifice I'm willing to make. This brings us full circle back to the Flintstones. Who knew that Hanna Barbara would be so prescient?

But, there are questions here that I think are important and have yet to be considered. As has been mentioned in this space before, I loves me some chicken wings. This past Friday, I was part of a group that had a brief discussion on what it means to be a chicken wing. After all, we’ve been seeing boneless chicken “wings” come onto the market recently. But are these really “wings”? We decided that they were not. Eating a chicken wing is not just about the actual wing. Its also about the experience and the moment. One cannot just lift a hunk of chicken up and plop it whole into their mouth (though it is a fun thing to do when you want to horrify your table mates). Rather, you actually have to eat around the bone, making sure that you get the meat and not break your damn teeth. It requires a certain agility and dexterity that we all possess but rarely utilize. I remember when I was a kid boneless chicken “wings” were referred to as chicken tenders. And all of this is nothing to say of the effect that bones have on ribs.

So, now that we have established that in order for a wing to be a wing, it must include a bone, we are left with the question that if we were to clone other birds and make wings out of them, would we also be able to clone the bone structure? If not, we will not have an entire appetizer sub-group available for cloning. And that would be a real shame, because wouldn’t you be interested to know what a Dodo wing tastes like? I know I would.

So long as they only bring me Ranch dressing.

Cheers.

Daylight Saving Time and its War on the American People

I'm sure foreign people have daylight saving time (We're actually the last nation to pick it up of all the nations in World War I...Ben Franklin didn't create it so I don't hate him). But I don't care about them right now. I'm cranky because I miss my hour of sleep. Sure I'll actually get home with some sunlight on some days, but man, more sleep is far more interesting. So I wanted to declare a fatwa on daylight saving time but apparently I can't...yet.

So last night was the season finale of October Road. It was a ridiculous too. Not only was there a Marissa Tomei reference which caught my attention, but U2 love in it AND.....DRUM ROLL! Stacy Keibler had a guest spot! Honest to god, I don't plan these things. Worst part is I'm actually liking the show. I didn't just watch to mock. Odette Yustman, Stacy Keibler, and a host of other eye candy plus improbable parings and decisions and I'm hooked. This would be awful if I had shame.

So question before the 10, what super hero are you? Batman? Spiderman? Superman? Wonder Woman? Any of those X-men? I've been considering who I would be. I mean I need to be someone who is a smart ass, makes too many pop culture references, and may be amoral or gray area level.

1. Eliot Spitzer! I want to be part of something called the Emperor's Club. Scott and I were debating on who do we know would go to a prostitute. Anyway, I'm actually disappointed in Spitzer. I liked him before he was governor. I think if he used state's money to fund his extracurricular activities then he should fall. I have no problem burning someone for using state's money that way. Its yet another powerful person who really just was reckless. I'm really curious on why David Vitter got it better than Spitzer?

2. So Barack Obama's bad week? Really? I mean he gained 7 Delegates on Hillary and technically won Texas. That's odd, I thought the media hated Hillary and would have pounced on that. Oh wait, they like a narrative. It isn't against Hillary. Its against boredom.

3. Yeah Bill Foster! Beating Jim Oberweis is a Democratic rite of passage in IL. However, this was Denny Hastert's seat. None of you Republicans are safe.

4. Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed and Sloth felt lonely so we have new sins!
1. 'Bioethical' violations such as birth control
2. 'Morally dubious' experiments such as stem cell research
3. Drug abuse
4. Polluting the environment
5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor
6. Excessive wealth
7. Creating poverty
Well, I didn't have much a problem violating the first set of sins. The second set made me laugh at how specific these are. Morally dubious experiments? Was Galileo morally dubious too?

5. I don't like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I find its defining features as a bit...vague for my tastes. Madonna is not rock and roll...it helps I can't stand her but she is not rock and roll. I heard most of the speeches. Billy Joel and John Mellencamp were really good.

6. I was listening to Howard Stern and he had Pete Burns on the phone. You're asking who?! He did the "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)" song during the 80s. He apparently is into women's clothes and I had heard this but it shocked everyone in the show that he isn't a woman now like everyone thought. He also has a wife and husband which I'm not sure is legal.

7. Apparently the Earth is gone in 7.59 billion years. Eaten by a red sun, that kinda sucks. I plan on being somewhere else.

8. Kurt Cobain bought a 3.2 million dollar house last year! Oh wait...something fishy

9. Britney Spears is going to be on one of my favorite shows...yeah I know....How I Met Your Mother.

10. 10,000 BC made 37.5 million dollars...I have no idea what its about but it has saber tooth tigers!

A Tribute to Paul Raymond, Porn Baron

I must say Porn Baron is a great title. Do you suppose there is a ranking system? Porn Lord? Porn King? Porn Emperor? I heard Brian, one of my house mates, is a Porn Squire, recently upgraded from Porn Serf. Anyway,Paul Raymond was worth 1.3 Billion dollars. The Brit knew his audience with such titles as "Yes, We Have No Pyjamas." He died at age 82 and one of the most wealthy British citizens.

Anyway, here is my soundtrack for the average day.
1. Any Other Beauty from American Beauty Soundtrack- Chris wakes up and gets ready.
2. Clocks (String Quartet Instrumental cover of the Coldplay song)- Chris' tedious and repetitive trip to work.
3. Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears- Chris starting the day of work
4. Company in My Back by Wilco- Chris going through meetings in the morning
5. I Need More Allowance by the Beets (Yeah from the Doug cartoon)-Chris realizing that he doesn't get paid enough
6. Believe (Moon version) by the Bravery- Chris losing faith in Democracy
7. Easy Way Out by the Pink Spiders- Chris' co workers thinking that he might be insane
8. Apply Some Pressure by Maximo Park- Chris takes risks and probably fails but hey its worth it
9. Driving in Geneva by Alexandre Desplat from the movie Syriana- Going through the motions
10. Hook Theme Song- Chris in afternoon meeting but in his happy imaginary place actually.
11. You're so Cool from the movie True Romance- Chris is goofing around Gchat and other jokes at work when he's not supposed to.
12. End Credits from Cider House Rules- The day dies down
13. Take the Long Way Home by Supertramp- Chris trying to leave work and taking forever to do so.
14. Touch of Grey by the Grateful Dead- Everything is going to be alright
15. Sound of Settling by Death Cab for Cutie- Relaxing at home
16. Mad World by Gary Jules- Turning on the news and getting ready for bed.

That's my framework for a boring day and a soundtrack

1. Well Hillary pulling out some victories was surprising. She campaigned at those soccer moms scaring them into submission. I don't hate Hillary Clinton, I hate her tactics. I do hate Ohio. They really did just vote for NAFTA woman. She says she's against it but it was listed as one of Bill Clinton's achievements and apparently Hillary was actually president during those years. Impressive victories but the math is against her. She didn't get overwhelming victories. She needs to pull out 70% wins in the next few weeks. Its going to be a rough ride.

2. Remember when Edwards had his own anti Christian friends/employees? The uproar and all that fun? Well John McCain has a pastor who follows him around and introduces him to people and such and he thinks Catholicism is a whore of a cult....Where's the outrage? Oh wait, do you mean that right wing rage is fake? John McCain supporters don't seem phased by it. I guess they think Catholicism is a whore of a cult too because there has been zero resistance. I mean if we use the logic that was used with the Edwards incident that's how it works.

3. Holy nobody puts baby in the corner (yes that is a quote for dirty dancing, those who doubt it are morons and should look it up) Its rumored that Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer and only weeks to live. Doctors have told him to be ready...That's crazy sad and I think he'd be the second cast member of Dirty Dancing to suffer cancer (Jerry Orbach being the first I think).

4. Glen Beck honestly asked if Obama could be the anti-Christ. Can someone please tell me how is this man qualified to be commenting on politics on CNN?

5. I hate independents who feel the need to comment on politics and act a certain way i.e. conservatives who don't want to be Republicans because it might look bad so they became "independents." They take all the forms of a Republican or Democratic person but divert maybe on one issue. This whole notion that Joe Lieberman has made independents a good thing is an awful notion. Independents want all the positives of being part of a party but none of the negatives. Have your cake and eat it too. I'm aiming this mostly at the independents who are conservative and agree with Republicans on most things but won't join up because they would have to account for President Bush. So people like Bill O'Reilly, Glen Beck, and all these "independent" voters that keep getting interviewed piss me off.

6. Okay now that I've let that out. Joan Cusack is going to play Isla Fischer's mom in Confessions of a Shopaholic. I mean wow, that's kinda weird that I remember when Joan Cusack was playing people's daughter. But hey I don't think John Cusack is in this movie so take what part you can.

7. So I'll admit I don't get certain brands some times. Like take Louis Vuitton, Scarlet Johannson was the previous spokesperson. Makes sense right. She's sex icon and all. Not as good as Natalie Portman but what are you going to do. Anyway, you know who is replacing her? Keith Richards! Want to look like a burnt burnt burnt rock star?

8. Apparently In Touch magazine is asking of Britney Spears was raped at some point...I'm not sure if this is an honest question or not. I mean is this hey this woman is completely insane this probably happened?

9. I bought video baseball for my PS3. Can you tell I'm excited for baseball? Cubs domination incoming!

10. 10,000 BC comes out this week. I have very little faith in a Roland Emmerich movie where New York isn't destroyed. So they should just put New York there in 10,000 BC so that saber tooth tigers can destroy it

Toasters and other funny things

Random download of the week: I downloaded Trust from the Batman Soundtrack by Prince...I have no idea why.

So I lost an argument to maybe a 5 year old. I was on the bus going up to Silver Spring and this little girl claimed that this pole on the bus was hers. I said okay, do you have other poles. She said she didn't know but I'm not allowed to have this pole. I asked what happens if I need to use the pole to stop myself from falling. I kept getting images of being kicked in the leg or punched in a rather unhappy place at this point. She told me she didn't know and I figured that she was a tiny version of the Hulk and found another pole.

That same night, some random little kid told me I had sad eyes on the metro. I mean really? How does this keep happening? I was just staring blankly out the window in my little happy place imagination and this little kid had to make an observation. I was in the middle of listening to Peter Bjorn and John's hideously catchy Young Folks on my Ipod. After random kid made observation, I kept waiting for Haley Joel Osment to walk by and punch me in the face. PS, HaJO is 20 now or almost 20 now. That's more scary than the Sixth Sense but not as scary as Pay it Forward.

A while back, I thought of having a personal soundtrack. Now, I'd like to make a soundtrack for a day in my life. Figure out yours. My first three tracks so far are
1. Any Other Beauty from American Beauty Soundtrack- Chris wakes up and gets ready.
2. Clocks (String Quartet Instrumental cover of the Coldplay song)- Chris' tedious and repetitive trip to work.
3. Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears- Chris starting the day of work
I'll have a full soundtrack for tomorrow.
Onto the list
1. Hillary has an ad up that asks who you do you want answering the phone at 3 am in the White House as an emergency is breaking? I thought the ad was hilarious. Tasteless and awful but hilarious. I mean I have variations for it. It's 3 am, do you know where your husband is? It's 3 am, do you know when Fraggle Rock is on? I truly don't like the fear card played. Its ridiculous.

2. Its Primary fun again....Hillary might be that guest who doesn't know when to leave. I feel sorry for her because she's a much better candidate than McCain but not as good as Obama is. Rush Limbaugh would like Republicans to go vote for Hillary today. I thought how quaint, GOPers' head exploding because they'd have to vote for a Clinton. Once again, Rush is a douche bag not because he wants to vote for Hillary but because he just wants to have the process drawn out. By doing this he hopes he can buy McCain some time....ha, both Hillary and Obama have raised four times the amount McCain has each month...I guess I can feel the excitement in the tepid McCain Campaign.

3. "Here at Fox, we like to be feminine. So we don't wear the pants." That's a Faux anchor. I'd like to thank Faux for being douche bags. They hate all things liberal, feminism, and the least bit intellectual. After a week where O'Reily went on a rant how Ariana Huffington is a Nazi, KKK member, Faux doing a segment against feminism really is something.

4. Amy Winehouse has a bacterial infection on her face? Weird. How does that explain the crazy hair, weird body, and remarkable drug crazed insanity?

5. This ranks as one of my favorite stories....ever. Seriously, let my people go, man.

6. Steve-O is apparently in jail for torturing his neighbor. He drilled holes into his neighbor's apartment and flooded in crazy hard rock and a very loud noise. Isn't that what was done at Abu Grahib too? He's charged with vandalism.

7. This is a remarkable story that you should read before I comment on it tomorrow. Its an area of interest for me but I find it just amazing.

8. Brett Favre is apparently retiring! I'll believe next year when the season is over and he hasn't played. That said, I'm making myself a drink tonight.

9. Baseball season is so close. If you want to play fantasy baseball, join up in our league. All three of us are in it.

10. TV you should be watching. I'm still obsessed with Doctor Who/Torchwood. I totally am enamoured with them. Go Netflix the dvds and you'll learn. Also, catch up on Sarah Connor Chronicles. I ended up liking the show a lot but that may be due to the strike wiping out most of my TV. I watched another episode of October Road that I shouldn't watch but I do. It was about how at 10 years old you develop some sort of notion on what your perfect girl is. The guys in the show all had theirs and she died in a car accident years later and its how they begin to realize that. However, the writing is still bad but I enjoy it.

11. I love my Sirius Radio though it has killed Radiohead for me by playing all their songs too often.

Perhaps A la Mode?

Its been a few days since our poll ended, but you, the great mole people of the inter-webs have gone and declared that the new co-host of American Gladiators for season two should be! A pie. This (finally) concludes our search.

I have to say, I am very proud of you all. I have always known that we lived in a great pie loving nation, and it is gratifying to know that our readers are a pie loving group. It brings new heights of patriotism to my heart.

So, if you are a producer for American Gladiators, and you have been following this, may I humbly suggest that strawberry rhubarb in the first episode? This is from the good people of Mr. Brooks Knocked Up Nancy Drew.

Ice cream is optional...

Cheers.

And the Winner is....

Okay, these are just notes that I was taking during the Oscars going on right now. My notes literally go all over the place and aren't in order.

-Wow, George Clooney really is the man...seriously.
-Why am I not finding Jon Stewart very funny?
-Is Nicole Kidman human? I don't think the Stepford Wives movie was fiction...
- God, I don't care about these songs...I find that's the same case every year.
-The little skit of the guys from Superbad, Knocked Up and etc was funny.
-Why is John Travolta dancing? Is that real hair or spray paint?
- Hal Holbrook has been old forever? Is that possible? I mean, is he Lazarus?
- Robert Boyle, the guy who won a special Oscar, make everyone feel young even Hal Holbrook.
- I mean, even Harrison Ford feels young now. I keep forgetting that he's with Calista Flockhart. At least I think that was her...it could have been a cardboard cut out because they weigh the same.
- Jon Stewart is still not funny. Not really amused that I don't find him funny tonight because I love the Daily Show.
- I'm starting to think Bourne Ultimatum should have gotten more nominations for things. I loved the movie but apparently it wins all the lesser awards...
-Yes, cinematography matters a lot to me. Good for There will be Blood
-I generally can't decide if I'm into Penelope Cruz and then she speaks and I really love accents and I melt....god I can't wait for her scenes with Scarlett Johanssen.
-I'm always saddened by the memorials they have at the Oscars for people in the industry.
- A little known fact about me unless you all know which then it isn't little known is that I love movie scores. I have a massive collection of them. So best score generally means something to me. Atonement had a great score that had a life of its own in the movie.
-Holy god, this whole tribute to the troops thing bothers me. Allowing them to present the nominees for best documentary short subject is heart breaking. I mean this is how they do it? Its like when I was at hockey today and basketball last night when they gave a few seats to some soldiers. That is an easy way out into thinking you're honoring them. You want to honor them? Give them better armor, send them where they're supposed to go, and bring them home. That's supporting the troops.
-These documentary nominees say a lot about what kind of world we're living in. Ah Taxi to the Darkside won...yup the one that Discovery wouldn't air and several channels won't air because of its subject matter that the United States tortures people. I'm dying to see this documentary. I'd like to see No End in Sight as well.
-During the saying of the nominees for screenplay, I love that they show the writers typing...for those who don't know what they put screenplays on...its a computer! However, I know when I write things its on crap things like napkins, scratch pads, and other worthless things. So maybe the whole typing thing makes it look dignified.
-Diablo Cody or whatever her name is that I'm not willing to look up right now who wrote Juno was a stripper apparently before writing Juno. I can't look at her without wondering if she was any good. I live in DC aka land of terrible strip clubs. You'd think in a city where sleeze comes with the word politics it'd have great strip clubs. Nope. I guess they get private showings. I also can't quite make out what her tattoo is.
-The Best Actor montage makes me sad too. I kinda wish I made human contact that made me sad...
-Helen Mirren is kinda hot...weird huh?
-Totally rooting for George Clooney on best actor though Daniel Day Lewis was amazing and I wouldn't mind him winning. Woah Viggo Mortensen has a crazy beard...oh well Daniel Day Lewis won. I'm happy. NOT FINISHED!
- Why wasn't Daniel Day Lewis in one of the Pirates movies. He already has pirate earrings! That was a nice little speech he gave.
-Man, Sophia Loren was hot back in the day. I'm not sure anyone is her level these days as she was back in the day.
-I'm not that big on No Country for Old Men but the Coens are kinda funny themselves.
-Why does Denzel Washington look like Shaft now? Hmm...No Country for Old Men won best picture...I disagree but hey, its not a bad picture. It just didn't leave a last impression on me like Michael Clayton or There Will Be Blood did. Even Juno amused me.
-All and all, not a memorable Oscars. I'll probably post something about this tomorrow when I actually think about my post for all of 2 seconds unlike here which is just scattered. Oh wait I rarely think....
Good night and good luck.

Are you British or just retarded?

Recently, Q Music, polled British citizens, to see what the top 50 British CDs of the last 50 years were.
http://promo.q4music.com/q4music/best_british_results/DefinitelyMaybe.shtml#album

Coming in at number one was Oasis' first CD, Definitely Maybe. Number two was Oasis' second CD, (What's The Story) Morning Glory. Number three was OK Computer by Radiohead. Number four was Revolver by the Beatles.

I want you to sit and think about for a second. The Beatles, possibly the best rock band of all time, apparently did not have a single album better than the first two albums produced by Oasis. Not only this, but think about your favorite Oasis songs. Wonderwall? Champagne Supernova? Don't Look Back In Anger? All on the second Oasis CD. So not only was Oasis apparentl better at producing a CD than any band in British history, but their CD with most of their famous songs is better than their CD which contains songs I don't remember.

Surprisingly, I have other issues with this list. One, four of the top 22 are Oasis CDs. Two, Amy Winehouse is on the list.

Let me give a short list of some British bands that I might have listed before Oasis. Beatles, The Who, The Clash, Davis Bowie, The Rolling Stones, The Kinks, possibly even Spinal Tap.

Also, I was shocked that I didn't see any CDs by Driveshaft. If you are going to place Oasis so high, you have to include Driveshaft.
http://www.driveshaftband.com/

I would like to challenge any who reads this blog to submit a list of your top 5 British CDs of all time.

Friday!

So, I have not watched the debate last night so that's not much to me yet. I do have an opinion on John McCain v New York Times. I'll save that for Monday with the hope that some more info comes out. So with that in mind, I'm going to post a music list. These are my favorite downloads for the past month and a list of movies that you may not have heard of or forgotten you had.

1. Into the Light by Heroes and Zeros
2. Wolcott by Vampire Weekend
3. Direct Hit by Its a Bit Art Brut
4. Guilt by Association by Louis XIV
5. Ruby by the Kaiser Chiefs
6. Harmonicas and Tambourines by Hot Hot Heat
7. Hear and Now by Shwa
8. Summer Bonfire by the Great Lakes Myth Society
9. Lights Out for Darker Skies by British Sea Power
10. A-Punk by Vampire Weekend

Random Movies

1. Willow- This one's for you Steve. Yup, love the movie as well. I had a such a thing for Joanne Whalley. Probably still do if offered. Anyway, it has midgets, magic, and might (I couldn't resist). The James Horner score is really good too. I always have fun with this movie.

2. Hmm..Val Kilmer thing going in this post maybe because he's the voice on Knightrider now...Real Genius- I used to watch this movie so often. I probably helped develop my personality the way it did. Its still very funny.

3. As I wear a Noah's Arcade tee shirt at work, Wayne's World I and II. Why don't people reference these movies anymore? I mean I still do but let's face it, nothing I do is the norm. Anyway, these are movies where Mike Myers was still funny and not a cartoon.

4. The Rocketeer! Holy god, I was 8 when this came out and I really wanted one of those helmets and jet packs. Look for Locke from Lost as Howard Hughes. This movie was so much fun. Timothy Dalton is the villain. I actually didn't mind him as Bond. I'm pretty sure Jennifer Connelly doesn't age too.

5. The Shadow and the Phantom movies. Yes, I clump them together. Its no secret that I can be old. I love old radio shows and these movies were also a ton of fun. Do you remember when Alec Baldwin wasn't a joke but a good looking guy who could do action? Well the Shadow isn't serious but its pulp fun. The Phantom with Billy Zane and Kristy Swanson is also in the same vein. Billy Zane used to be a waiter at a deli in Chicago so he's always got a popularity with my family. I still have a thing for Kristy Swanson somehow. The movie so comic booky that its entertaining.

6. Hook. I enjoyed it as something different with Peter Pan. Dustin Hoffman and Robin Williams come on.

7. Equilibrium. Christian Bale's prototype for Batman. So god damn cool. Great fighting too. Dystopia 1984esque world is just what you need.

8. I'm going to throw in Boondock Saints, The Big Lebowski, and Swingers as movies that my friends and I used to watch on a religious basis. Just wanted to remind myself and others that we should do a movie festival.

9. PCU. Jeremy Piven. College. Missing his hair at that point too. Hilarious movie about college and schools who take themselves too seriously.

10. The American President and the Contender. I'm a cliche liberal but man, I love the cast of these movies and the political scripts.

as promised and demanded too surprisingly

NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WELL NOT REALLY, IT REALLY IS TASTEFUL!!!!!!....!!!!!!!!!!!!








Lindsay Lohan. You're welcome Anthony and Olker.

Mundane

In case you ever thought this blog's eccentricity was really well thought out....well you're wrong. a conversation from this morning.

me: you know those jimmy dean commercials with the sun cooking breakfast?

scott: vaguely

me: I'm really disturbed by them

like how does the sun have sex? and why is hte sun's kid a whiny little brat?

scott: the sun could be a nanny

me: and why does he need an oven

oh its his kid

and he has a wife too which I think is way below the sun's league

scott: you have heard of "solar flares" right?

me: and how did the sun hit on his wife when they met? say I'm hot for you?

I kinda want to punch the sun in the commercial

like who the hell do you think you are giving me breakfast advice? You're already giving me cancer. Would this be a hate crime?

scott: you would think that the sun would be a super great stalker

he sees you

always

me: yeah creepy, he's like the police song every breath you take

scott: i'll bet the moon is in on it too

me: oh the moon is in another commercial with crappy mcsun

he eats cereal which is perfectly sensible

I've got no beef with the moon

scott: haha

btw, i heard these two people talking today and one of them reminded me of you

he was going on and on and on about something and then he goes "so i need to get my drivers license before my next job. or i need to make enough money where i can hire a car service. either or."

me: haha

scott: i was like 'thats something chris would say"
me: its true. that's exactly my line of thinking

scott: i knew it!

me: I totally want to have the Shadow's life. notice he never drives, he has an army of followers who drive him around

scott: i'll have to take your word for it

me: the only negative would be having hte name lamont cranston

which may or may not be his name really

scott: oooh yeah, that would suck ass

me: god I love old radio shows

scott: you really do love the strangest things

me: I seriously want to make a youtube video of someone fighting a guy in a sun suit

scott: i'm going to post a new poll

stacy kiebler, ice, or pie

me: nice

I think I'm going to post our conversation we just had if you don't mind

scott: about the sun guy?

me: yeah, I'm still weirded out by it

scott: haha

go for it

This isn't rare to have conversations like this. If you know others like this, buy them a pie.

Beware Valerie Evans. She's a Dalek.

Here's a picture of Stacy Kiebler

We're Getting Closer

Ah, I knew I'd confuse many of you with our latest poll! In our latest poll, the idea of having a run off received more votes than not having the run off. But! The clear winner of our poll was pie. And who can blame you? Pies are delicious. Therefore, we are going to have one last poll on this topic before I leave it alone. That dead horse behind me? I give you all a bag of sticks. Have fun.

Who should replace Leyla?

Stacy Kielber: She's hot. I'm sure there are other important things to consider and mention, but honestly, I haven't really thought about them.

Former Gladiator, Ice: She was the most attractive Gladiator during the last running. Also, being a former Gladiator she may have some good insights. Like I said, I see a very special American Gladiators where Ice just suddenly goes "Fuck this! I'll show you candy-asses how we did it back then!" and then she just goes and wrecks some poor competitor. I would pay money to see this.

Pie: You all showed me that you like pie, so I am listening to the will of the people. Should we replace Leyla Ali with a pie? Perhaps a different one each week? We can use it as an incentive for crossing the finish line. Whoever finishes the Eliminator first not only wins but also gets a pie! A new flavor each week! Maybe Hulk Hogan will eat it while no one's looking and we could all wonder why his facial hair is suddenly the color of blueberries.

And just so you all know, I am fully aware that the finale happened already. Think of this as being for Season 2. Make your voices known.

Valerie Evans is a Dalek and Your Mom Probably is One Too!

Holy god, it has been awhile. Anyway, take that dictators! Castro is stepping down as President. He's 81 and has been de facto if not de jure leader of Cuba since 1959. I remember a doctor in Cuba saying that Castro should live to 122 so he's got a ways to go. Does anyone else think that the CIA not being able to take out Castro back during the Cold War was the first evidence that they were incompetent? I mean, I'm not advocating assassination of Castro but that was a big assignment for the CIA and they came up with plans to poison his cigar...FEEBLE.

Another smack was Pervez Musharraf's party getting beat in Pakistan. It finished third. What kind of dictator finishes third? Even our support of dictators has gone feeble. I went to the Wikipedia page to see some probably inaccurate numbers and they were showing and they had flags by the political parties and one of them is an animated gif of a red flag. I just found it really odd.

My Pet Goat=very jealous

Lastly, take that HD. My blu-ray player which is my PS3 that rarely gets played as a DVD player beat Scott's HD player that is actually an XBox 360. Toshiba is abandoning HD! Now HD discs can seek friendship with DIVX and Laser discs. Now onto the list.

1. Does anyone care what spouses of candidates say? I think I only care about Bill Clinton because he's Bill Clinton 42nd President. I honestly don't care what Michelle Obama says. She's great and all but not relevant. I don't care what John McCain's wife says. I kinda think she looks like what Barbie would look like at 50. So when someone says something like this is the first time in their adult life that they're really proud of their country, people do take pause. It wasn't particularly wise but Michelle Obama does not equal Bill Clinton. Her comments are gravy if anything. I heard one conservative commentator calling this another example of how Democrats are unpatriotic. This isn't unpatriotic. Unpatriotic is profiting off your country's troops while they're off at war. Unpatriotic is instilling fear into people so that you can be elected because you are terrible on every issue. You want unpatriotism look at the GOP and if you think they're still patriots after everything because they "support the troop?" Well, that's amazing because I need to ask how are they patriotic?

2. Kosovo is independent. Its extraordinary. Why you ask? Because this leads to war in any other era. Kosovo seeks French, British, and American support. Serbia goes to Russia and you've got Cold War fun all over again.

3. This nearly had me thrown off my chair. Not only is the big Faux News commentator who has supported everything the Bush Administration does, but he's generally fairly annoying and comes up with really odd interpretations of law. Faux generally goes to him to justify Bush Administration beliefs and really conservative arguments in general. The FISA issue is bipartisan people and President Bush is wrong.

4. So pop culture....oh right, Big Brother is airing its 11th billion season. And apparently, someone on the show used the word retard....that's one way to bring publicity to your show. A major Autism group is demanding an apology.

5. Another season of Dancing with the Stars is coming that I probably won't watch. I didn't watch it when Kristy Swanson was on which says a lot because I think I have a decade long crush on her. But here is the lineup. Priscilla Presley, Kristi Yamaguchi and Marlee Matlin (She's deaf and has been on a lot of tv like West Wing), dam Carolla, Shannon Elizabeth, Steve Guttenberg, Monica Seles, Penn Jillette, Mario, Jason Taylor, Cristian De La Fuente and Marissa Jaret Winokur. Wait a minute....rewind STEVE GUTTENBERG!? Wow, I mean wow. I might watch just to see how many F-list jokes I can make as well as Police Academy jokes I can throw out. I've seen almost all of them. If he does a dance move called the high tower I'll give victory to him.

7. Lindsay Lohan did some photos replicating Marilyn Monroe. I will post images when I can. As I recall, Marilyn Monroe was drunk during hers so Lohan and her do have a lot in common. But Monroe is a cultural icon. She was the stuff of legends with friend/lovers JFK, Frank Sinatra, Joe DiMaggio, and Arthur Miller. She was the center of an era. Lohan is not.

8. Congrats to Sean Bean, aka 006 and Sharpe for all you anglophiles out there. He just got married for the 4th time! I feel that once you reach 4, you might as well go on to reach 6.

9. Misha Barton has gone really blonde and extensions. That's not quite the improvement that I would have liked. I'd say a cheeseburger would have been great. I'd have images but the site I was looking at yelled copyright infringement when you try to link the image.

10. So I watched Elizabeth the Golden Age...yeah its boring. I'd pass though the music, costumes, and Cate Blanchett are good. I can never look at Cate Blanchett as being attractive since she played Bob Dylan though she looked damn good in Notes on a Scandal. I also had a very me day and watched Transformers. I totally love that movie because of my inner never going to mature self. I also watched the show that I don't know why I keep watching but I do October Road. For some reason the show has a weird effect on me. I do want to know where in Massachusetts are there so many hot women. I mean seriously? But, the show is written so poorly yet I enjoy it. I have no idea why.

Comedy

Now that I have your attention. Hey there. That's a headline from the freakishly conservative Drudge Report yesterday...how phallic of him. Matt Drudge loves outing people on their sexuality but god help you if (and there are a lot of rumors) he might be outed. Nevertheless, never doubt that Drudge tries to grab your attention in weird ways.

So I've been away for a bit. Lots of work and school work. Trying to y'know figure out things. Today is the Potomac Primaries so if you're a DC/VA/MD voter, get out there and vote. I really do hate people who don't vote. If you do not vote in primaries, then you do not have a right to complain about the candidates. If you do not vote in general elections, you do not have a right to complain about what politicians in the election. Its that simple.

1. Yup, its a tight race on the Democratic side of things. Obama has been taking more states and apparently has more delegates even with the dreaded superdelegates. I find it amazing that people have mistaken primaries for Democracy. Primaries are to determine things for the party. Its their rules and superdelegates are just people who consistently are active in the party. People like former presidents, all of Congress, the governors, and etc. There are random ones like Jim Roosevelt, the grandkid of FDR. Its because we (Democrats) worship the Houses of Kennedy and Roosevelt. The Clintons only dream of such a worship. But, its their party and they'll cry if they want to. Don't worry, I don't think superdelegates will determine this race. We should know more of the fate of this race next month. Texas and Ohio...I hate Ohio.....

2. These things I normally defer these things to Scott but really, having Tim Russert talk about cooking a squirrel with Mike Huckabee is just odd and hilarious. What do you think squirrel tastes like? I'm so glad Huckabee is staying in the race. Romney dropped out to do his Reagan impression. Ronald Reagan dropped out of the 76 primary for the good of the party and then came back four years with Carter and trounced him. That trickster Romney!

3. Writers' Strike is Over! Oh wait....you mean we don't get our beloved TV shows back right away...and some not at all? Yeah, that's the truth of it. The companies won out I think. I mean, they proved that they can withstand a strike with reality tv. Its okay because we might have a SAG strike this summer. Anyway, good bye Big Shots and Bionic Woman, it looks like they're canceled. There will be more shows canceled. Most shows won't be back till maybe April and many will only return next fall. Lost fans should be happy. We should see the first episode created this spring right when this older batch is done. We may even get a full season!

4. Amy Winehouse won a grammy and just dominated the Grammy's! Looking at her on satalite because she didn't get her Visa in time, I just marveled at what a cartoon she is. I swear she's from AHHHH! Real Monsters. And Herbie Hancock?! Really? Huh....

5. Does anyone remember Shannon Doherty? I do.

6. Mel Gibson is being sued....not by police...no, not by anyone Jewish....by his writer for Passion of the Christ. Apparently, Mel told his writer that he wasn't going to make any money off the movie that the 5-7 million he thought it would make would go to the crew...This was supposed to be his gift to Roman Catholicism...yeah hundreds of millions of dollars later...and different story.

7. Roy Scheider died. I was saddened by this. "You're going to need a bigger boat." That's his most famous line from the classic Jaws. He actually was supposed to be in Deer Hunter, another classic, but had to be in Jaws 2 which is a bad movie. He was in 2010, Marathon Man, All That Jazz, and Seaquest DSV. Ah Seaquest and that dolphin Darwin. Scheider seemed like he was in his 50s forever and then suddenly seemed old when I saw him in the Punisher. RIP Roy Scheider.

8. I still think Pats/Red Sox and New York fans in general are annoying. I can't wait for baseball season.

9. Everyone knows I'm a Beatles fan so I thought this was interesting.

10. Go buy Vampire Weekend's debut record. Its very cool. Kinda a mix of the Police and the Clash. I like it a lot.

Should we have a run off election?

So, I'm bored at work and that means its time to put up a new poll. As you all know, we had a tie in our recent poll about who to replace Leyla on American Gladiators. Unfortunately, we had a weird result that resulted in a tie. So instead of declaring a winner, I had to follow the will of the doofuses (or doofi possibly...) who have led to this.

Thus, we are going to institute some good old fashioned Louisiana politics. No, not a lynch mob. A run-off election! Maybe. My question to all of you is this: should we run a run-off to declare a true winner?

Make your voices known. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that this may end up in a tie as well. In which case, I will be very disappointed.

Amazingly Enough

As you all may have noticed, our poll has ended. I actually forgot when it ended and so I may be a day late here, but whatever. In any event, we actually have a tie. I'm impressed that as many people voted as they did, but still, you all disappoint me greatly. Why a tie?

The winners of our poll to replace the useless Leyla Ali are Stacy Kiebler, and the former American Gladiator now known as Ice. Oddly enough, a few days after we started our poll, Ice came out and declared she was gay. I find the timing interesting. Did our poll have anything to do with it? I choose to believe that it did.

So what do you all think? Should we run another poll? A run-off to see who, among our two winners is the actual winner or do we declare it a draw and find a job for both of them on the show? Is this perhaps a poll in its own right? Use the comments section to let me know.

And now the encore, New Frontier

"The New Frontier of which I speak is not a set of promises — it is a set of challenges. It sums up not what I intend to offer the American people, but what I intend to ask of them." John F. Kennedy July 15th 1960

Yesterday, I got a chill during a political speech. Goose bumps, literally. Its been awhile. Actually ironically, the last time I felt that chill was during the Democratic National Convention in 2004. Barack Obama gave a speech about America that day in 2004 and it was amazing. It put him on the map and just explained to everyone in the country what I already knew. Barack Obama is a rockstar. About yesterday now, Ted Kennedy, Patrick Kennedy, and Caroline Kennedy endorsed Barack Obama and handed over a legacy that maybe too big for anyone but it shows what Obama means to everyone. Ted Kennedy and Barack Obama's speeches gave me chills and it was done at American University which makes it a little more close to home. Kennedy spoke about hope and hit the Clinton Campaign hard on every point. Its going to be a great ride for the next week as we enter the race to Super Tuesday. One of the reasons that I'm a Democrat is JFK and RFK. They're what I admire in the party even if there are flaws. I want to believe again in heroes. If you haven't seen the speeches, then go find them. I close this segment with a JFK quote.
"If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people — their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties — someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal." September 14th 1960.

1. Romney and McCain are yelling at each other in Florida calling each other liberals...I think its hilarious. McCain also apparently has a secret plan to get Bin Laden. I would argue that having a plan would be a start. But I'm pretty sure everything has gone insane in Florida...again.

2. State of the Union last night was like watching Back to the Future 2 except nothing awesome about it (hovering skate boards!). Y'know that scene where Marty sees himself while time traveling? Well, the President seemed to repeat himself like it yellow cake uranium except in Iran this time! It was a snooze fest really. There's a reason Ted Kennedy overshadowed him in his endorsement of Obama. Its a bad product at the State of the Union. But I did see something UTTERLY CREEPY! DID CHRIS SHAYS REALLY KISS PRESIDENT BUSH ON THE CHEEK!? How odd is that? Chris Shays had a tough time getting reelected and I don't think kissing the President helps things.

3. The countdown is on! When will Rudy Giuliani drop out? I'm going drinking the night he does. It looks like he isn't going to win Florida. He gave signed baseballs to media people...kinda pathetic kinda like a farewell. He is the candidate I despise the most though Romney is close. The night he drops out I'll probably go to the Red Derby.

4. Mike Wallace had triple bypass surgery recently. I hope he recovers well. He's in ridiculous shape for an 89 year old. I mean, I had to look up his age since its impossible to tell since he looked "old" in 1980 and hasn't really changed at all. I still think his son Chris, all dishonor to him because he's brought shame to a glorious name, is still worthless.

5. Kathy Griffin has been banned...again from the View by Barbara Walters. Apparently, she was too mean about her in a stand up. Its remarkable to be banned twice from the View when I thought they'd let anyone on. God knows, they let anyone host.

6. Holy god, I have something in common with Craig Ferguson. We're both US citizens...Brave new world...He's come a...oh wait he's still the same as he was on Drew Carey.

7. Apparently, the Giants won't talk to their former star player, Tiki Barber now that he's a commentator. Perhaps, its because he's a "pillow muncher" (Thanks again Vicky). Or maybe he's a bad team mate for what he did? How about his retirement and then commentary on the team pissed them off? I wouldn't talk to him either.

8. I'm still laughing that Amy Winehouse is in rehab.

9. Okay, confession, I love British culture. I do love French and Italian too. But British humor and pop culture has suited me for awhile. It has taken me way too long to get into Doctor Who. I'm now obsessed with it. I have to love a show whose fans have a saying "real villains don't use stairs, they level buildings." The Dalek creatures until recently couldn't go up stairs but they could kill whole cities. I love it. Its so out there that it says everything. The series is almost 50 years old and still odd and awesome. Here is what a Dalek looks like.

10. I saw Rambo...yes you heard me. I saw it with people who got it too. See Rambo takes a certain state of mind. Some call it crazy. I call it normal. Rambo isn't supposed to be rational. It isn't supposed to be all that serious in its violence. I learned that a bow and arrow works pretty well in the movie. I also learned that I'm not going to South East Asia anytime soon but I knew that already. Rambo is fun violent. Its so overthetop roided out Sylvester Stallone. He cowrote,produced, and directed the picture so of course the cute innocent blonde is into him.

11. I saw Across the Universe too. I'm a very big Beatles fan. I'm not my brother's level...no one is. But I do love the Beatles. Across the Universe is one long Beatles music video that I'm still trying to figure out. Its the plots of songs put into a movie and shot very nicely.