Sunday, February 24, 2008

And the Winner is....

Okay, these are just notes that I was taking during the Oscars going on right now. My notes literally go all over the place and aren't in order.

-Wow, George Clooney really is the man...seriously.
-Why am I not finding Jon Stewart very funny?
-Is Nicole Kidman human? I don't think the Stepford Wives movie was fiction...
- God, I don't care about these songs...I find that's the same case every year.
-The little skit of the guys from Superbad, Knocked Up and etc was funny.
-Why is John Travolta dancing? Is that real hair or spray paint?
- Hal Holbrook has been old forever? Is that possible? I mean, is he Lazarus?
- Robert Boyle, the guy who won a special Oscar, make everyone feel young even Hal Holbrook.
- I mean, even Harrison Ford feels young now. I keep forgetting that he's with Calista Flockhart. At least I think that was could have been a cardboard cut out because they weigh the same.
- Jon Stewart is still not funny. Not really amused that I don't find him funny tonight because I love the Daily Show.
- I'm starting to think Bourne Ultimatum should have gotten more nominations for things. I loved the movie but apparently it wins all the lesser awards...
-Yes, cinematography matters a lot to me. Good for There will be Blood
-I generally can't decide if I'm into Penelope Cruz and then she speaks and I really love accents and I melt....god I can't wait for her scenes with Scarlett Johanssen.
-I'm always saddened by the memorials they have at the Oscars for people in the industry.
- A little known fact about me unless you all know which then it isn't little known is that I love movie scores. I have a massive collection of them. So best score generally means something to me. Atonement had a great score that had a life of its own in the movie.
-Holy god, this whole tribute to the troops thing bothers me. Allowing them to present the nominees for best documentary short subject is heart breaking. I mean this is how they do it? Its like when I was at hockey today and basketball last night when they gave a few seats to some soldiers. That is an easy way out into thinking you're honoring them. You want to honor them? Give them better armor, send them where they're supposed to go, and bring them home. That's supporting the troops.
-These documentary nominees say a lot about what kind of world we're living in. Ah Taxi to the Darkside won...yup the one that Discovery wouldn't air and several channels won't air because of its subject matter that the United States tortures people. I'm dying to see this documentary. I'd like to see No End in Sight as well.
-During the saying of the nominees for screenplay, I love that they show the writers typing...for those who don't know what they put screenplays on...its a computer! However, I know when I write things its on crap things like napkins, scratch pads, and other worthless things. So maybe the whole typing thing makes it look dignified.
-Diablo Cody or whatever her name is that I'm not willing to look up right now who wrote Juno was a stripper apparently before writing Juno. I can't look at her without wondering if she was any good. I live in DC aka land of terrible strip clubs. You'd think in a city where sleeze comes with the word politics it'd have great strip clubs. Nope. I guess they get private showings. I also can't quite make out what her tattoo is.
-The Best Actor montage makes me sad too. I kinda wish I made human contact that made me sad...
-Helen Mirren is kinda hot...weird huh?
-Totally rooting for George Clooney on best actor though Daniel Day Lewis was amazing and I wouldn't mind him winning. Woah Viggo Mortensen has a crazy beard...oh well Daniel Day Lewis won. I'm happy. NOT FINISHED!
- Why wasn't Daniel Day Lewis in one of the Pirates movies. He already has pirate earrings! That was a nice little speech he gave.
-Man, Sophia Loren was hot back in the day. I'm not sure anyone is her level these days as she was back in the day.
-I'm not that big on No Country for Old Men but the Coens are kinda funny themselves.
-Why does Denzel Washington look like Shaft now? Hmm...No Country for Old Men won best picture...I disagree but hey, its not a bad picture. It just didn't leave a last impression on me like Michael Clayton or There Will Be Blood did. Even Juno amused me.
-All and all, not a memorable Oscars. I'll probably post something about this tomorrow when I actually think about my post for all of 2 seconds unlike here which is just scattered. Oh wait I rarely think....
Good night and good luck.

Are you British or just retarded?

Recently, Q Music, polled British citizens, to see what the top 50 British CDs of the last 50 years were.

Coming in at number one was Oasis' first CD, Definitely Maybe. Number two was Oasis' second CD, (What's The Story) Morning Glory. Number three was OK Computer by Radiohead. Number four was Revolver by the Beatles.

I want you to sit and think about for a second. The Beatles, possibly the best rock band of all time, apparently did not have a single album better than the first two albums produced by Oasis. Not only this, but think about your favorite Oasis songs. Wonderwall? Champagne Supernova? Don't Look Back In Anger? All on the second Oasis CD. So not only was Oasis apparentl better at producing a CD than any band in British history, but their CD with most of their famous songs is better than their CD which contains songs I don't remember.

Surprisingly, I have other issues with this list. One, four of the top 22 are Oasis CDs. Two, Amy Winehouse is on the list.

Let me give a short list of some British bands that I might have listed before Oasis. Beatles, The Who, The Clash, Davis Bowie, The Rolling Stones, The Kinks, possibly even Spinal Tap.

Also, I was shocked that I didn't see any CDs by Driveshaft. If you are going to place Oasis so high, you have to include Driveshaft.

I would like to challenge any who reads this blog to submit a list of your top 5 British CDs of all time.

Friday, February 22, 2008


So, I have not watched the debate last night so that's not much to me yet. I do have an opinion on John McCain v New York Times. I'll save that for Monday with the hope that some more info comes out. So with that in mind, I'm going to post a music list. These are my favorite downloads for the past month and a list of movies that you may not have heard of or forgotten you had.

1. Into the Light by Heroes and Zeros
2. Wolcott by Vampire Weekend
3. Direct Hit by Its a Bit Art Brut
4. Guilt by Association by Louis XIV
5. Ruby by the Kaiser Chiefs
6. Harmonicas and Tambourines by Hot Hot Heat
7. Hear and Now by Shwa
8. Summer Bonfire by the Great Lakes Myth Society
9. Lights Out for Darker Skies by British Sea Power
10. A-Punk by Vampire Weekend

Random Movies

1. Willow- This one's for you Steve. Yup, love the movie as well. I had a such a thing for Joanne Whalley. Probably still do if offered. Anyway, it has midgets, magic, and might (I couldn't resist). The James Horner score is really good too. I always have fun with this movie.

2. Hmm..Val Kilmer thing going in this post maybe because he's the voice on Knightrider now...Real Genius- I used to watch this movie so often. I probably helped develop my personality the way it did. Its still very funny.

3. As I wear a Noah's Arcade tee shirt at work, Wayne's World I and II. Why don't people reference these movies anymore? I mean I still do but let's face it, nothing I do is the norm. Anyway, these are movies where Mike Myers was still funny and not a cartoon.

4. The Rocketeer! Holy god, I was 8 when this came out and I really wanted one of those helmets and jet packs. Look for Locke from Lost as Howard Hughes. This movie was so much fun. Timothy Dalton is the villain. I actually didn't mind him as Bond. I'm pretty sure Jennifer Connelly doesn't age too.

5. The Shadow and the Phantom movies. Yes, I clump them together. Its no secret that I can be old. I love old radio shows and these movies were also a ton of fun. Do you remember when Alec Baldwin wasn't a joke but a good looking guy who could do action? Well the Shadow isn't serious but its pulp fun. The Phantom with Billy Zane and Kristy Swanson is also in the same vein. Billy Zane used to be a waiter at a deli in Chicago so he's always got a popularity with my family. I still have a thing for Kristy Swanson somehow. The movie so comic booky that its entertaining.

6. Hook. I enjoyed it as something different with Peter Pan. Dustin Hoffman and Robin Williams come on.

7. Equilibrium. Christian Bale's prototype for Batman. So god damn cool. Great fighting too. Dystopia 1984esque world is just what you need.

8. I'm going to throw in Boondock Saints, The Big Lebowski, and Swingers as movies that my friends and I used to watch on a religious basis. Just wanted to remind myself and others that we should do a movie festival.

9. PCU. Jeremy Piven. College. Missing his hair at that point too. Hilarious movie about college and schools who take themselves too seriously.

10. The American President and the Contender. I'm a cliche liberal but man, I love the cast of these movies and the political scripts.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

as promised and demanded too surprisingly

NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lindsay Lohan. You're welcome Anthony and Olker.


In case you ever thought this blog's eccentricity was really well thought out....well you're wrong. a conversation from this morning.

me: you know those jimmy dean commercials with the sun cooking breakfast?
scott: vaguely
me: I'm really disturbed by them
like how does the sun have sex? and why is hte sun's kid a whiny little brat?
scott: the sun could be a nanny
me: and why does he need an oven
oh its his kid

and he has a wife too which I think is way below the sun's league
scott: you have heard of "solar flares" right?
me: and how did the sun hit on his wife when they met? say I'm hot for you?
I kinda want to punch the sun in the commercial
like who the hell do you think you are giving me breakfast advice? You're already giving me cancer. Would this be a hate crime?
scott: you would think that the sun would be a super great stalker
he sees you
me: yeah creepy, he's like the police song every breath you take
scott: i'll bet the moon is in on it too
me: oh the moon is in another commercial with crappy mcsun
he eats cereal which is perfectly sensible
I've got no beef with the moon
scott: haha
btw, i heard these two people talking today and one of them reminded me of you
he was going on and on and on about something and then he goes "so i need to get my drivers license before my next job. or i need to make enough money where i can hire a car service. either or."
me: haha
scott: i was like 'thats something chris would say"
me: its true. that's exactly my line of thinking
scott: i knew it!
me: I totally want to have the Shadow's life. notice he never drives, he has an army of followers who drive him around
scott: i'll have to take your word for it
me: the only negative would be having hte name lamont cranston
which may or may not be his name really
scott: oooh yeah, that would suck ass
me: god I love old radio shows
scott: you really do love the strangest things
me: I seriously want to make a youtube video of someone fighting a guy in a sun suit
scott: i'm going to post a new poll
stacy kiebler, ice, or pie
me: nice
I think I'm going to post our conversation we just had if you don't mind
scott: about the sun guy?
me: yeah, I'm still weirded out by it
scott: haha
go for it

This isn't rare to have conversations like this. If you know others like this, buy them a pie.

Beware Valerie Evans. She's a Dalek.

Here's a picture of Stacy Kiebler

We're Getting Closer

Ah, I knew I'd confuse many of you with our latest poll! In our latest poll, the idea of having a run off received more votes than not having the run off. But! The clear winner of our poll was pie. And who can blame you? Pies are delicious. Therefore, we are going to have one last poll on this topic before I leave it alone. That dead horse behind me? I give you all a bag of sticks. Have fun.

Who should replace Leyla?

Stacy Kielber: She's hot. I'm sure there are other important things to consider and mention, but honestly, I haven't really thought about them.

Former Gladiator, Ice: She was the most attractive Gladiator during the last running. Also, being a former Gladiator she may have some good insights. Like I said, I see a very special American Gladiators where Ice just suddenly goes "Fuck this! I'll show you candy-asses how we did it back then!" and then she just goes and wrecks some poor competitor. I would pay money to see this.

Pie: You all showed me that you like pie, so I am listening to the will of the people. Should we replace Leyla Ali with a pie? Perhaps a different one each week? We can use it as an incentive for crossing the finish line. Whoever finishes the Eliminator first not only wins but also gets a pie! A new flavor each week! Maybe Hulk Hogan will eat it while no one's looking and we could all wonder why his facial hair is suddenly the color of blueberries.

And just so you all know, I am fully aware that the finale happened already. Think of this as being for Season 2. Make your voices known.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Valerie Evans is a Dalek and Your Mom Probably is One Too!

Holy god, it has been awhile. Anyway, take that dictators! Castro is stepping down as President. He's 81 and has been de facto if not de jure leader of Cuba since 1959. I remember a doctor in Cuba saying that Castro should live to 122 so he's got a ways to go. Does anyone else think that the CIA not being able to take out Castro back during the Cold War was the first evidence that they were incompetent? I mean, I'm not advocating assassination of Castro but that was a big assignment for the CIA and they came up with plans to poison his cigar...FEEBLE.

Another smack was Pervez Musharraf's party getting beat in Pakistan. It finished third. What kind of dictator finishes third? Even our support of dictators has gone feeble. I went to the Wikipedia page to see some probably inaccurate numbers and they were showing and they had flags by the political parties and one of them is an animated gif of a red flag. I just found it really odd.

My Pet Goat=very jealous

Lastly, take that HD. My blu-ray player which is my PS3 that rarely gets played as a DVD player beat Scott's HD player that is actually an XBox 360. Toshiba is abandoning HD! Now HD discs can seek friendship with DIVX and Laser discs. Now onto the list.

1. Does anyone care what spouses of candidates say? I think I only care about Bill Clinton because he's Bill Clinton 42nd President. I honestly don't care what Michelle Obama says. She's great and all but not relevant. I don't care what John McCain's wife says. I kinda think she looks like what Barbie would look like at 50. So when someone says something like this is the first time in their adult life that they're really proud of their country, people do take pause. It wasn't particularly wise but Michelle Obama does not equal Bill Clinton. Her comments are gravy if anything. I heard one conservative commentator calling this another example of how Democrats are unpatriotic. This isn't unpatriotic. Unpatriotic is profiting off your country's troops while they're off at war. Unpatriotic is instilling fear into people so that you can be elected because you are terrible on every issue. You want unpatriotism look at the GOP and if you think they're still patriots after everything because they "support the troop?" Well, that's amazing because I need to ask how are they patriotic?

2. Kosovo is independent. Its extraordinary. Why you ask? Because this leads to war in any other era. Kosovo seeks French, British, and American support. Serbia goes to Russia and you've got Cold War fun all over again.

3. This nearly had me thrown off my chair. Not only is the big Faux News commentator who has supported everything the Bush Administration does, but he's generally fairly annoying and comes up with really odd interpretations of law. Faux generally goes to him to justify Bush Administration beliefs and really conservative arguments in general. The FISA issue is bipartisan people and President Bush is wrong.

4. So pop culture....oh right, Big Brother is airing its 11th billion season. And apparently, someone on the show used the word retard....that's one way to bring publicity to your show. A major Autism group is demanding an apology.

5. Another season of Dancing with the Stars is coming that I probably won't watch. I didn't watch it when Kristy Swanson was on which says a lot because I think I have a decade long crush on her. But here is the lineup. Priscilla Presley, Kristi Yamaguchi and Marlee Matlin (She's deaf and has been on a lot of tv like West Wing), dam Carolla, Shannon Elizabeth, Steve Guttenberg, Monica Seles, Penn Jillette, Mario, Jason Taylor, Cristian De La Fuente and Marissa Jaret Winokur. Wait a minute....rewind STEVE GUTTENBERG!? Wow, I mean wow. I might watch just to see how many F-list jokes I can make as well as Police Academy jokes I can throw out. I've seen almost all of them. If he does a dance move called the high tower I'll give victory to him.

7. Lindsay Lohan did some photos replicating Marilyn Monroe. I will post images when I can. As I recall, Marilyn Monroe was drunk during hers so Lohan and her do have a lot in common. But Monroe is a cultural icon. She was the stuff of legends with friend/lovers JFK, Frank Sinatra, Joe DiMaggio, and Arthur Miller. She was the center of an era. Lohan is not.

8. Congrats to Sean Bean, aka 006 and Sharpe for all you anglophiles out there. He just got married for the 4th time! I feel that once you reach 4, you might as well go on to reach 6.

9. Misha Barton has gone really blonde and extensions. That's not quite the improvement that I would have liked. I'd say a cheeseburger would have been great. I'd have images but the site I was looking at yelled copyright infringement when you try to link the image.

10. So I watched Elizabeth the Golden Age...yeah its boring. I'd pass though the music, costumes, and Cate Blanchett are good. I can never look at Cate Blanchett as being attractive since she played Bob Dylan though she looked damn good in Notes on a Scandal. I also had a very me day and watched Transformers. I totally love that movie because of my inner never going to mature self. I also watched the show that I don't know why I keep watching but I do October Road. For some reason the show has a weird effect on me. I do want to know where in Massachusetts are there so many hot women. I mean seriously? But, the show is written so poorly yet I enjoy it. I have no idea why.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


Now that I have your attention. Hey there. That's a headline from the freakishly conservative Drudge Report phallic of him. Matt Drudge loves outing people on their sexuality but god help you if (and there are a lot of rumors) he might be outed. Nevertheless, never doubt that Drudge tries to grab your attention in weird ways.

So I've been away for a bit. Lots of work and school work. Trying to y'know figure out things. Today is the Potomac Primaries so if you're a DC/VA/MD voter, get out there and vote. I really do hate people who don't vote. If you do not vote in primaries, then you do not have a right to complain about the candidates. If you do not vote in general elections, you do not have a right to complain about what politicians in the election. Its that simple.

1. Yup, its a tight race on the Democratic side of things. Obama has been taking more states and apparently has more delegates even with the dreaded superdelegates. I find it amazing that people have mistaken primaries for Democracy. Primaries are to determine things for the party. Its their rules and superdelegates are just people who consistently are active in the party. People like former presidents, all of Congress, the governors, and etc. There are random ones like Jim Roosevelt, the grandkid of FDR. Its because we (Democrats) worship the Houses of Kennedy and Roosevelt. The Clintons only dream of such a worship. But, its their party and they'll cry if they want to. Don't worry, I don't think superdelegates will determine this race. We should know more of the fate of this race next month. Texas and Ohio...I hate Ohio.....

2. These things I normally defer these things to Scott but really, having Tim Russert talk about cooking a squirrel with Mike Huckabee is just odd and hilarious. What do you think squirrel tastes like? I'm so glad Huckabee is staying in the race. Romney dropped out to do his Reagan impression. Ronald Reagan dropped out of the 76 primary for the good of the party and then came back four years with Carter and trounced him. That trickster Romney!

3. Writers' Strike is Over! Oh mean we don't get our beloved TV shows back right away...and some not at all? Yeah, that's the truth of it. The companies won out I think. I mean, they proved that they can withstand a strike with reality tv. Its okay because we might have a SAG strike this summer. Anyway, good bye Big Shots and Bionic Woman, it looks like they're canceled. There will be more shows canceled. Most shows won't be back till maybe April and many will only return next fall. Lost fans should be happy. We should see the first episode created this spring right when this older batch is done. We may even get a full season!

4. Amy Winehouse won a grammy and just dominated the Grammy's! Looking at her on satalite because she didn't get her Visa in time, I just marveled at what a cartoon she is. I swear she's from AHHHH! Real Monsters. And Herbie Hancock?! Really? Huh....

5. Does anyone remember Shannon Doherty? I do.

6. Mel Gibson is being sued....not by, not by anyone his writer for Passion of the Christ. Apparently, Mel told his writer that he wasn't going to make any money off the movie that the 5-7 million he thought it would make would go to the crew...This was supposed to be his gift to Roman Catholicism...yeah hundreds of millions of dollars later...and different story.

7. Roy Scheider died. I was saddened by this. "You're going to need a bigger boat." That's his most famous line from the classic Jaws. He actually was supposed to be in Deer Hunter, another classic, but had to be in Jaws 2 which is a bad movie. He was in 2010, Marathon Man, All That Jazz, and Seaquest DSV. Ah Seaquest and that dolphin Darwin. Scheider seemed like he was in his 50s forever and then suddenly seemed old when I saw him in the Punisher. RIP Roy Scheider.

8. I still think Pats/Red Sox and New York fans in general are annoying. I can't wait for baseball season.

9. Everyone knows I'm a Beatles fan so I thought this was interesting.

10. Go buy Vampire Weekend's debut record. Its very cool. Kinda a mix of the Police and the Clash. I like it a lot.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Should we have a run off election?

So, I'm bored at work and that means its time to put up a new poll. As you all know, we had a tie in our recent poll about who to replace Leyla on American Gladiators. Unfortunately, we had a weird result that resulted in a tie. So instead of declaring a winner, I had to follow the will of the doofuses (or doofi possibly...) who have led to this.

Thus, we are going to institute some good old fashioned Louisiana politics. No, not a lynch mob. A run-off election! Maybe. My question to all of you is this: should we run a run-off to declare a true winner?

Make your voices known. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that this may end up in a tie as well. In which case, I will be very disappointed.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Amazingly Enough

As you all may have noticed, our poll has ended. I actually forgot when it ended and so I may be a day late here, but whatever. In any event, we actually have a tie. I'm impressed that as many people voted as they did, but still, you all disappoint me greatly. Why a tie?

The winners of our poll to replace the useless Leyla Ali are Stacy Kiebler, and the former American Gladiator now known as Ice. Oddly enough, a few days after we started our poll, Ice came out and declared she was gay. I find the timing interesting. Did our poll have anything to do with it? I choose to believe that it did.

So what do you all think? Should we run another poll? A run-off to see who, among our two winners is the actual winner or do we declare it a draw and find a job for both of them on the show? Is this perhaps a poll in its own right? Use the comments section to let me know.