Friday, August 24, 2007

"if you keep on being their cunt they'll keep fucking you" English Proverb about the Hundred Years War

Yes the title of my post may offend people but that really is a proverb from the Hundred Years War. In case you're curious, the word cunt comes from the Gropecunt Lane where prostitution was popular in Medieval England. But my title may be a lesson for life. And with that onto the 10.

1. In Alabama, sex toys are illegal to sell. You have to go to the great liberal bastions of Georgia and Tennessee if you want that sort of thing. However, guns, oh those charming little dangerous things, can be sold on every corner. So let's review:

Anyway, the United States Supreme Court has been petitioned about this and may actually hear about it. Scalia talking about sex toys and guns is funny and remarkably disturbing....oh they call them marital aids too which makes it even more awkward.

2. Did anyone watch Anchorwoman? I didn't. I had it on DVR but deleted it in favor of some Outer Limits reruns on Showtime. That probably tells a lot about the series since it was canceled after one episode. I totally regret my decision and find it a funny one too. Apparently, no one watched it. Tragedy really. I mean why watch a fictional news joke when you Faux News out there? Lauren Jones was the star of the show. She was/is a WWE star which all I know about wrestling is from my friend Jim and fellow poster, Rob. That means I know nothing about it really. Anyway, Heather Graham and her can hang out now and mourn about their one episode canceled shows. Maybe Faux should stay away from those kinds of shows because their other pseudo news show Half Hour Hour Show or whatever it was called was canceled because it just wasn't funny.

3. Nicole Richie served 82 minutes of her four day sentence. I believe it was the fear that she could at one point slip between the bars because she was so thin at one point. I still don't believe she's pregnant. I just think she had a cheese burger...maybe from a two headed cow.

4. Have you seen Amy Winehouse and her husband recently? She apparently was either fighting vampires which is entirely possible or she "...was cutting myself after he found me in our room about to do drugs with a call girl and rightly said I wasn't good enough for him. I lost it and he saved my life." Either way disturbing and possible.
5. Jamie Foxx on Michael Vick. “It’s a cultural thing, I think,” Jamie said. “Most brothers didn’t know that, you know. I used to see dogs fighting in the neighborhood all the time. I didn’t know that was Fed time. So, mike probably just didn’t read his handbook on what not to do as a black star.” I totally think there should be handbooks for celebrities. Young, attractive, celebrity girls should not chase their assistants while drunk and coked up. Lessons for life. An entire book could be dedicated to Britney Spears.

6. Still can't row a boat in Call of Duty 3 but I didn't try last night. I instead watched DVRed episodes of Outer Limits and playing the new Madden. Julius Jones can't walk for the rest of the season because Lance Briggs, upon being resigned by me, destroyed his foot. 3-0 Bears.

7. I'm seeing Superbad this weekend. I feel this movie could be life changing....okay I can't even take that statement seriously but I should have fun with it.

8. Russian President Vladimir Putin says United States wants to dominate the world...1) As a Romanian, anyone named Vlad is scary to me. 2) The guy who was an angry KGB ghost at one point really shouldn't be commenting on who wants to dominate the world though he would know if anyone. 3) By now, anyone President Bush has made a character judgment on is probably wrong such as seeing into Vladimir Putin's soul...which if you didn't know is covered by executive privilege. Dick Cheney can see into the soul less...its like a supernatural Inspector Gadget team except evil. PS, the United States did win the Cold War with the Soviet can see why they might think we're out to take it all...

9. There's a woman a couple floors below me at work who is almost twice my age maybe and constantly hitting on me...not quite sure what to do with that.

10. I watched the preview show Pushing Daisies last night and found it really enjoyable. Its a bit like Big Fish in the way the story is told and its filmed rather well. Furthermore, Anna Friel is remarkably cute...yup I have a crush on her now. Anyway, the premise is that there is this awkward guy who can touch the dead and resurrect them but if he touches them again they die permanently. There is a catch of course. He can only keep someone alive for a minute unless he chooses someone else to die and then the original person will be alive indefinitely unless he touches them. He's partnered with the principal on Boston Public and they attempt to solve murders. Sounds odd but its enjoyable in a weird way. Watch it when it comes on. You'll understand it more.

Later all,

Cheers to Corgiman, Winston, and Feebleman

1 comment:

Scott said...

I have no idea what Anchorwoman even was/is. You should totally let that woman take you out to dinner or at the very least drinks. And finally, dibs on Anna Friel.