The Natural

Sports has had the crap kicked out of it this summer. Barry Bonds, Michael Vick, gambling NBA ref, and etc have really brought down the morale of fans. I love sports. Its part of my personality to follow as many things as I can. I love baseball, football, basketball, and even hockey and this summer has been rough. Let me preface this point I'm going to make by saying, I hate the St. Louis Cardinals in baseball. I'm a Cub fan I can't help it. But Rick Ankiel of the Cardinals was the shining spot of a summer of really bad news. In 2000, he was a star pitcher on the rise and then he flamed out. He melted down in the playoffs of that year. A year later he was still unable to control his pitches. In 2002, he had tommy john surgery (a death sentence in baseball injury). He was never expected to return. And he didn't as a pitcher, by 2006, he had become an outfielder. He hurt his knee and wasn't able to play in the season. 2007 saw a pathetic Cardinals coming off a World Series win. So many problems between a pitcher dying in a DUI, their manager being arrested for a DUI, and a player leaving to deal with substance abuse, the Cardinals started at the bottom. Last month, they gave a chance to Rick Ankiel to play in the outfield. He has been extraordinary. The Cardinals are back in the race. Ankiel has been hitting the cover off the ball. And then a report has come out recently that Ankiel had taken a year's supply of Human Growth Harmone in 2004. Now keep in mind that it wasn't made illegal till 2005 but now, Ankiel has the shame of Barry Bonds on him. His un(Natural) accomplishments are now tainted. In the NFL, they're suspending a lot of players for HGH. It is cheating. So Rick Ankiel's story is looking less like the movie the Natural and more like the book that the movie is based on. Onto the list.

1. Saw this on wonkette and it made me a laugh as we continue onward with Larry Craig jokes until he leaves next month. I think this picture could be used to scare children at night.


2. Rudy Giuliani sucks. I can't stress this enough.





3. Pete Doherty has been giving his cat cocaine...seriously, he has a cracked out cat and I'm not talking about Kate Moss. He even made a special pipe for the cat. We now know what a cat on crack is like. Apparently, cat tries to fly, sleeps with its paws in the air while on his back, and attacks people....so its Amy Winehouse.

4. Hugh Hefner claims he has sex several times a week...well, wouldn't you if you were him? Hell, I understand how he's in such great shape.

5. Larry Wachowski of the famous directing fame has emerged from his sex change. He's going by Lana now...if you didn't think the second Matrix movie didn't make him seem weird, this pretty much does it. Apparently, he's now a lesbian too...seems like a lot of work to put in to make it clear you like women.

6. There are few celebrities who get my blood boiling. Madonna is one of them. I can't stand her. I can't stand her faux British accent. I can't stand how she desperately needs spotlight whether its Kabaala or adopting all of Africa or its her overall snobiness. Mind you, I'm a snob too but her whole "I don't let my kids see any media because they might see me on tv and figure out I suck bit" is annoying. Well onto the point of the 6 spot, child services have visited her from nation of Malawi. I'm kinda curious on what that's like. I'm on the premise that she's adopting this kid to get him away from an impoverished nation so what exactly are child services to Malawi?

7. Drew Barrymore and the Mac Guy Justin Long are hooking up....she was doing crack when he was born...not quite, they're actually only like 3 years apart..how weird is that? I think Justin Long still plays highschool students in movies. He may have upgraded to college kid as of late. PS, I almost accidentally did a post on how Justin Long and Drew Barrymore were in Die Hard movies but it turns out its another Barrymore named Dru, no relation. Dru Barrymore was in Die Hard 2 and now does porn apparently. Justin Long was in Live Free or Die Hard....tragic, I almost had a brilliant connection.

8. I'm trying to weigh whether I'll ever watch the MTV Awards and watching Britney Spears flop on stage as she opens it up this year....its not likely but I do want now if that's the train wreck everyone is sure it is.

9. Colts smashed the Saints last night...so...the Saints, who were smashed by da greatest team ever da Bears in the playoffs last year, can't play good teams...good to know.

10. No review today. I bought a box of heroclix, oh you bet I'm that dorky, and I'm enjoying those. Also go out and watch football this weekend for god's sake.

PS. Happy Birthday Brian and Anthony.