Monday, September 24, 2007

Week 3 Football Roundup

Leading up to this weekend's football was an interesting range of emotions. I was hesitant, fearful, and about ready to resign myself to a terrible season of mediocre offense. Add in the fact that McNabb's August interview where he claimed that black quarterbacks are critisized more and differently than white quarterbacks, it was a bad week to be an Eagles fan. Off the bat, I just want to say that no matter what you think of Donovan McNabb you have to admit that his career has been one of the most bizarrely critisized in quite some time. So on Sunday morning when D'Jimbo came bounding out and being like "are you ready Scott!?!?" all I could do was mutter in the affirmative, put on my Dawkins jersey and head to the bar.

What a diffference an hour makes. I was enjoying the game thoroughly and D'Jimbo not so much. Before the game I told D'Jimbo that I would be happy if the Eagles put up 14 points which he had, ever so politely, informed me was not enough to beat the Lions. Well, he was right on that point. The only thing that annoyed me were the Lions fans behind us. Hugely annoying. They just kept yelling out stupid shit and mocking the Eagles. Granted, our uniforms were pretty atrocious, but come on. When you're getting throttled and your only target for smack talk is uniforms, you're really desperate. I wasn't exactly surprised but I was glad they left by halftime. After halftime we got a couple more people for our crew which meant we also started watching the Patriots game. Not nearly as interesting as the Eagles game. I won't belabor the point because I don't want to be gloating too much, but the best part of the day was the victory donut. I decided that it was only proper to buy donuts for everyone since D'Jimbo had done it last week. It was priceless to see him sitting in the corner looking out the window all by himself. I shouldn't pick on him but he called me a dipshit in fantasy so I feel perfectly justified. After that we went home and watched another game.

This may sound weird but I was really rooting for the Redskins here. Sure they would have been 3-0 but who cares? The Giants would have been 0-3! And thats much more important for me. One of the highlights for me was watching Jeremy Shockey drop a sure first down and possibly a touchdown. This will be a recurring theme but I really do not like Shockey and as a result I love to watch him fail. The guy is a douchebag country hick of the highest order. So any time he fails, I cheer. I also had Jason Campbell going in fantasy because its the Giants. They're giving up 40 points a game. But alas, they apparently found some life in the second half and I was disappointed. For some reason this happens to me every year in fantasy. I always have a revolving door at quarterback. I don't know why it happens but it does. Anywho, the Giants stormed back to win the game and I was disappointed. How the fuck do you manage to not put that game away? On the plus side, I look forward to taking on the Redskins again on November 11. I'm hoping they'll have collapsed by that point. The Eagles still have the Cowboys to contend with though and that fucking scares me. Which is a great segue for...


Ah Sunday night football. I generally don't really care about SNF because its on late and its generally two teams I don't care about. Plus, even though I greatly prefer John Madden to Tony "The View" Kornheiser I still don't really like listening to him much in his later years. I still wish though that there was a feature in the Madden game where you could unlock racist Madden commentary or drunk Madden commentary. Of course, the point has been raised to me that Drunk Madden would sound an awful lot like Regular Madden. Fair point. Hmm, thats weird. The two team names are in spanish. Al Michaels informs me that its Hispanic Heritage month and the NFL is celebrating that by renaming the teams for the night. Now, I have a question. Who comes up with all these fucking heritage months? Do we really need to honor some minority/cause/movement/fungus every goddamned month? People, we are drowning in political correctness these days. And it shows because the funniest people out there make fun of political correctness. These days, being offensive is a great way to be funny. I made the comment that I'm like the Auschwitz of chicken earlier in the day. Thats a terribly offensive thing to say and yet it was funny. You know what I'm kind of sad about? I don't think South East Pacific or Asian Heritage month happens during football season. I'd like to see the NFL honor that one. Seriously, just try it. Anywho, going into this game D'Jimbo and I were pondering how many times Rex Grossman would turn the ball over. He said 3 interceptions whereas I thought 2 interceptions and a fumbled snap. I always love the fumbled snap. It always turns into a huge clusterfuck and its hilarious to watch. I turned the game off later though because it was 10-10 and a fairly boring game. I woke up however, to discover that the Bears were embarrassed and that Grossman threw 3 interceptions. Phooey. D'Jimbo was right.

Maybe I owe him another donut...


My office league fantasy name for the previous week was the Lawnmower. Urban Dictionary describes this particular feat as removing anal beads from your partner with about the same motion and force as you would pull on the draw cord for a lawnmower. Sounds pretty intense, eh? Oh what will I come up with next week.

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