Monday, October 8, 2007

Come one, Come all!

If there's one thing I love in life, its stealing. I love stealing. Something about it just amuses me. So in that spirit I'm going to steal a little bit of Chris' posting format. He's probably calling me a communist right now but really, its for the good of everyone. Is that Communism? I don't know. What I do know is that like Stalin, I have an urge to purge. So if you're a dissident, prepare to be purged! On to my list of thoughts and reactions, though certainly not a '10.'

1. Rush Limbaugh has said that soldiers who oppose the war are either stupid, dupes, or phoneys. What outrages me is that he isn't getting killed like was. Personally, I don't much care for MoveOn but I wish the Democrats would stop being such pussies. I prefer to avoid discussing politics in this blog, but this does slightly bother me. I mean, here we have a hate-filled man who spews filth and lies from his national platform and is an addict. So I wonder what that makes Rush. Just a thought.

2. The politicians in Iraq have lost faith in the idea of National Reconciliation. Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't that the whole reason we started the "Surge" (not to be confused with my coming purge). Essentially, the United States has propped up an inept and corrupt government with no hope of ever functioning. To all you history buffs out there, how many times have we had to say that before? I'm pretty sure its at least a dozen.

3. As Chris has already mentioned, Halo 3 is a pretty darn good game. I thoroughly enjoyed it and actually really liked the way the story ended. For those of you who plan on playing the game and haven't played it yet, I won't spoil the story for you. In a minor spoiler though, I will say that I do like that Bungie has more or less retired the Master Chief character. However, as previously mentioned, the game is short. On the default difficulty, I managed to plow through the game in 7 hours. And I haven't played a First Person Shooter since Halo 2. At least I haven't played one for any significant amount of time since Halo 2. I haven't quite dug into the multiplayer just yet but I do look forward to that as well. I tried to describe to a few people what Halo is all about and I've decided that in terms of cultural significance, Halo is like the Harry Potter of the video-gaming world. Outside of sports games, there is little else that really causes as much loyalty and mass purchasings as Halo, which is really something incredible. If you have an X Box 360, you owe it to yourself to try the franchise. Its a lot of fun.

4. I went to the DC Green Festival on Sunday. Not really my scene but you do strange things when you're being nice. Anywho, while I was there I really pissed off a couple of vendors because when they asked "Would you like to talk about X?" I kept responding with "Oh no, I'm fine, I'm just reading your poster. And no, I don't want a magazine or a pamphlet, I'm good." I also had to fight the urge to get into a fight with the No Nuclear people. I really wanted to but decided against it (I can, and will crush, anyone who decides to argue this point with me). However, it was this morning that I realized that the Green Festival is the home of the modern Snakeoil Salesman. I had several people telling me that their product was the most wonderful thing that would lead to greater health, mental clarity, and more energy with only one ounce a day! These things included Yerba Mate (where the girl told me that it gave you energy without fogging your mind like coffee does), some energy drink that you take like a shot, shea butter (whatever the hell that is), and of course, the requisite vegan and vegetarian people. It was even better, because I still remember all those Looney Toons where the huckster is selling something that was made by Tibetan monks, and there were people at the Green Festival actually selling things that were either made by Tibetan refugees or refugees from some other country. So we even have ancient and mysterious Tibet in the mix!

Now, the great thing about these products is they can make any claim they damn well please about what their product does because neither the USDA nor the FDA actually test products for things like vitamins, minerals, and the new buzzword, anti-oxidants. So you can make the claim that your Yerba Mate gives me more energy, boosts my immune system, provides mental clarity, and can lead to a healthier lifestyle, but in the end, you only have anecdotal evidence.

Another hilarious thing about the Green Festival was that it was basically just a big hippie festival. There were peace rallies, animal rights people, fair trade people, and just a whole bunch of stuff that really has nothing to do with being 'green.' You walked into the place and it smelled like pachouli and BO. I even saw a book entitled "The Case Against a Global Economy." Quick point to be made here? The economy isn't going to stop being global. Its kind of here to stay. Deal with it. Also, when the woman was droning on about how North Korea only tested a nuclear bomb to keep the United States from attacking and then said that they want diplomacy, I really wanted to be an ass and ask her what happens when diplomacy fails. You know, just a hypothetical. The problem with some of these people who believe in diplomacy is that they believe that we are dealing with rational actors. North Korea is ruled by Kim Jong Il, who last time I checked, is slightly north of "fucking lunatic." They didn't test a bomb to keep the States from attacking. They tested a bomb because we weren't paying much attention to him. I was wearing a polo and felt dressed up. Though I did make sure to walk by my company's booth and laughed for a good 20 minutes at how sad and miserable the guy looked. It was hilarious. I have been informed that in years past, they would actually have green engineering firms who talked about... well... green engineering. Thats the kind of stuff I was hoping for because I'm a nuts and bolts kind of guy. I like knowing how things work, but there was none of that. Which was a big disappointment.

5. While we were watching football, Chris suddenly asked if it were wrong of him to judge someone and lose all respect for an individual based on the t-shirt they were wearing. Turns out it was a person wearing a Stop Bitching, Start a Revolution t-shirt. Yes, yes it is okay to judge those people. They deserve it. For those of you who don't know, the Revolution people live on a Commune farm in West Virginia where they attempt to grow organic foods. The people work about 12 hours a day in the fields and make fun of us for living in the "Death Culture." If you want to know more, here's an interesting article. My favorite part? Aside from the Tribal Council, the ridiculously stupid beliefs, the opulence of their leader, the incredible hypocrisy, and the shear idiocy? The fact that they all play World of Warcraft. That is high-fucking comedy right there. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against WoW. In fact, I made the concious decision to not purchase it because I like having at least some semblance of a life and with WoW, I would probably lose my job. Just take my credit card, Blizzard. I won't be needing it! But for this group of morons to judge all of us for having jobs and being productive members of society and still log onto WoW is a little bit galling. I laugh at these people every time I see them now. And they deserve it. Anyone who is going to hold all of us accountable for living a terrible life but then doesn't even live up to their own messed up philosophy deserves the ridicule that you heap on them. But you know what?

Stop Bitching, Start a Burning Crusade.



Lauren said...

A few comments about SBSaR people:

Um, how the hell do they afford tickets to every major concert in the area? For multiple people? To sell literature? And how do they afford the gas to get out here? And the cell phone I saw the chick in Chinatown using.

Why are they still selling the same magazine they were selling 2 years ago.

Every time I walk past them, as they ask me to buy something, I inform them that I prefer to stop revolting and start bitching -- it's a whole lot easier, and besides, you get on people's nerves more.

Scott said...

I think I just want to start asking them if any of them play gnome. I think that would be even better.

Edmund Dantes said...

I'm baffled by them as well. My brother actually stopped to talk to them at length when he was was awkwardly hilarious. Oh and Scott is a commmunist...stealing formats...everyone knows I'm allowed to steal from Letterman and Olbermann...yup double standards make mouths happy.

-Brian said...

What? No football recap? Or were you worried about me making fun of you? I'd do this of course by mentioning that a certain QB you dropped scored 27.52 points more than your coveted Joey Harrington while your lowly 'Bubble Butt Busters' were a mere 16.99 points away from your second win? Or were you too blown away by my Redskins' playing like it was 1991? Looking forward to seeing you Sunday at ODB.