Friday, October 19, 2007

I'll do Graffiti if You Sing to Me in French

I'm glad that 154 Republicans and 2 Democrats would like to not support S-CHIP. I truly look forward to campaigning against them. I'm truly looking forward to framing the issue around the notion that 40 days in Iraq money could play for 10 million kids in a year. But y'know what, let's pay for Iraq and not children because our kids can't be in too good shape if we're going to send them to Iraq when they're older. John Boehner thinks its an outrage to exhibit kids for this...really? Boehner, who uses them for his campaign as often as possible, is an asshole. I'm looking forward to the day when Faux News is filled with former GOP Congressmen who can't understand why they didn't win reelection in 2008. So FUCK YOU 154 Republicans, 2 Democrats, and the entire Bush Administration. Onto the list which is almost 2/3 larger today!

1. Dennis Hastert is retiring before his term is up. No, its not because he misses being majority leader too much. No, its not because no one has any respect for him even in his own party (PS, they never did). Its because they're linking him to Duke Cunningham (Most corrupt congressman ever). Okay, (Most corrupt to be caught...still want Delay to go down in flames).

2. Fred Thompson may have gotten the worst tacit endorsement ever. Fred Phelps, y'know the guy who has a group of people show up to funerals of dead soldiers with large banners saying support of gays caused this, apparently saw and maybe still does see eye to eye with Phelps on the gay issue. I think its safe to say in a bipartisan way that Fred Phelps is an awful person...okay he's not human....

3. Sam Brownback has dropped out of the presidential race...probably a wise thing to do. His fund raising was really bad due to him not being conservative enough in hating immigrants. He was the most social conservative of the group though. What this has caused though is a migration of supporters to Mike Huckabee, the only Republican in field I don't mind. I won't vote for him but he makes the debate good.

4. Did CNN really cut away from the Dalai Lama's speech yesterday? That can't be good for karma...they'd rather talk about the Oral Roberts scandal.

5. Jessica Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld's wife, may have committed plagiarism. Her book “Deceptively Delicious” has way too much in common with “The Sneaky Chef” by Missy Chase Lapine. So what's the deal with plagiarism?

6. Unfitney is truly remarkable. I wonder how shocked she really is that she has lost total custody of her children...guess what showing up late to court meetings doesn't help you with a judge. Furthermore, she's in a hit and run investigation and now she has run over a Paparazzi photographer. Now, no one really defends the Paparazzi but she does summon them a lot so she can get attention.

7. Amy Winehouse! Oh the excitement...Amy Winehouse and her cracked out husband have been arrested and detained in Norway for drug possession. I don't know why Norway has to get in the way of Amy Winehouse's dream of screwing up in every nation...next stop Congo.

8. There's a rumor going around that LiLo has gotten engaged to snow boarder Ryan Giles...pretty sure it isn't true but as we all know all good relationships start in rehab. Ryan Giles could be new K-Fed of our generation...


9. Do I really need to say anything about this?
10. “I was craving bone marrow one day, and I scoured the whole of Paris searching for the leg of a cow. When I finally found what I was looking for, I cut it in half, digging out the yellowish substance, slathering it all over bread.” Yup, Milla Jovovich now grosses me out but it is kinda hilarious...perhaps she's been taking her Resident Evil movies too seriously.

11. 3,000 dollars for a Hannah Montana ticket....fathers donning womens' clothes to win tickets...what the hell is going on? Is her concert a shamanic experience because if so acid is a lot cheaper.

12. Yes I'm still going because these next two matter. Joey Bishop has died. Funnyman extraordinare, he legitimately still made people laugh till the end but y'know what made him awesome? He hung out with the coolest people who ever lived. Joey Bishop was the last of the Ratpack. Anyone funny enough, likable enough, and cool enough to hang out with Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Sammy David Jr. and Peter Lawford (he was the lame one), deserves a toast.

13. Deborah Kerr has also died. She never won an Oscar despite nominated 6 times and only got one via an honorary one. However, she was in arguably the greatest scenes in movie history in "From Here to Eternity."

Cheers Ms. Kerr,

PS. Everyone who has ever decided the beach was a good idea for this owes you a gratitude as well as a condemnation, getting sand out is always annoying.

14. John Stewart on Daily Show into 2010.

15. Ellen canceled the taping of her show today because of that dog scandal.

16. I'll admit it. I have a crush on Uma Thurman...yes, I know I have lots of crushes and women I call dibs on and etc. But what exactly did you think when you looked in the mirror before going out, Uma?

1 comment:

Lauren said...

Someone didn't do the camera flash test before they left the house!